The Pagan Bodhisattva

New Address

2006-04-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

The Pagan Bodhisattva is moving to JayAndrewAllen.com. Please update your links. Thanks!

Paganism, Spirituality, and the Body

2006-04-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

Inanna of the blog At the End of Desire has a long post up about the body, and how sensual pleasure fits into her Pagan practice.

Within a Pagan belief system, then, we're talking not about "the body" but about bodies. Part of developing one's skills in magic involves learning to sense the subtler realms. Fortunately, since we live in a postmodern age, we have the wisdom of other traditions to help us. For me, yoga has been crucial. It's helped me learn the joys of an embodied spiritual practice and to experience the communication between physical and energy bodies moving together, carried on muscle, tendon, and breath. Lying in corpse pose, I wonder what becomes of the energy bodies when the physical body dies. Are our bodies inextricably linked one to another, or does energy persist, perhaps dissipating, while matter decays and transforms?

Our bodies are no less holy for being temporal, for being born and dying. I eschew any belief system that would rank the physical body less than "spirit" because of the former's inevitable demise. Once I read a poem about the holiness of fragile and temporary things. Yes. Illness is as sacred as health. Purity is a false ideal, and one that hates the body. We're a mess, all of us - earthy, bloody, broken. And we're perfect that way. There is nothing to save.

It's an excellent point, worth emphasizing repeatedly in this day and age: there is no separation between samsara and nirvana. Everything in the material realm is equally divine, equally a glorious manifestation of the Goddess.

But there's a subtle point that needs to be made, as this can easily veer off into hedonism. (I should know - I've veered it.) There is no problem with pleasure; the problem is our attachment to pleasure - our belief that it can fill the void left by the absence of direct knowledge of Spirit.

There are a series of talks between Ken Wilber, George Leonard and Michael Murphy on Integral Naked (get yer free one-month subscription here!) regarding Integral Transformative Practice, which attempts to unite body, mind, and spirit. Murphy talked a little about the early days of Esalen, which served as a kind of "human potential laboratory" for a wide range of ancient and modern spiritual practices. The students and teachers there were so adamant about getting aspirants to stop dissociating from their physical form that people kept putting up signs that read, "Get out of your mind and into your body." In response, Leonard remarked dryly, "I always tore those signs down."

Wilber, Murphy and Leonard, have the mystic's ideal in mind. The goal should not be to denigrate matter in deference to Spirit, or to denigrate Spirit in deference to matter. The goal ought to be to align everything with Spirit.

How do we do this? It's easier to talk it than to walk it. Most of us have trained our minds, paradoxically, to do most activities mindlessly. For me, the first task is a long, slow, arduous training in mindfulness. In every action, word and thought (or, as the Tibetans would say, in body, speech, and mind), I aim to bring my full presence and my full awareness.

When I eat, I endeavor to eat with my full focus on my meal. If my thoughts wander anywhere, I want them to wander to thoughts of people who have far less than I do - people who are going hungry or starving to death in the street while I sit contented in comparable luxury. When I exercise, I want my concentration on my limbs, my muscles, my subtle energies, the firm ground of my being. When I talk to someone, I want my attention focused with intensity on every word, my mind treating every syllable that drops from their lips as important and potentially life-altering. When I write, I want my soul to drip off of every word.

And there's the important distinction. While I don't want to belittle matter in the face of Spirit, I need to make matter subordinate to Spirit. This is not to denigrate matter, but to put it in its proper place. I am not my body. I am not a hunk of accumulated food. I'm a visitor on this splendid Earth, here to celebrate, unfold, and evolve Divinity during the measly 70 to 100 years I expect to live. My life hardly even amounts to a speck of a fraction of a sliver of infinite Being. I can't afford to waste time in the pursuit of empty pleasure, as I've done most of my life. What pleasures I do enjoy, I must enjoy in the spirit of the infinite compassion of Divine embrace.

In the Charge of the Goddess, the Goddess says, "Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals". For years, I thought of "love" and "pleasure" as two separate concepts. As a Buddhist/Wiccan acquaintance pointed out, however, these must be conjoined: a pleasurable act, to be a celebration of the Goddess, must be a loving act. It's not a matter of picking one over the other, but practicing both simultaneously.

Done properly, a pleasurable act ought to be born out of both relative and absolute bodhicitta. Relative bodhicitta involves our cultivated compassion for all living beings, and our desire to serve their welfare as we would our own. Absolute bodhicitta brings the recognition that the dualistic separation of self and other is a nightmare from which all beings must awaken.

Inanna is spot on. We mustn't denigrate our physical beings. We should celebrate them. But our celebration ought to be a transcendent enjoyment. Our nature dictates that we deserve nothing less.

Look At Me When I'm Talking to You, Young Man!

2006-04-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

During the work week, I break out of my office around 2pm to take a power walk. I used to run, many years ago. But I've been out of shape since shortly after moving to Seattle. I've tried before to jump right back into running, and every time it's proven to be murder. I've fallen back to walking - at least until my respiratory system recovers from years of Adult Swim and Hostess Fruit Pies.

Yesterday I went out about 1pm for a 50-minute hard stroll around the neighborhood. It was a beautiful day - 65 and blue skies for miles. I was wrapped in natural splendor. All around me, the foliage was iridescent with the rebirth of spring.

And here I was, scuffling along madly, thinking about work and looking at my feet.

I realized early on that I wasnt focused on the beauty that enveloped me. I consciously fixed my gaze forward, paying more attention to nature and to my path than to my black Nikes. I found it hard to hold this. My eyes felt like they were burning from the sunlight, like I had plucked them from my skull and soaked them in acid.

I laughed and thought, What an apt metaphor. My eyes turned away naturally from the sun, not because it was uncommonly bright that day, but because I'm accustomed to looking downward like most people do. (No wonder sunglass manufacturers do such a booming business.) I had to will myself to look straight and soak up the beauty that erupted around me, pushing my way past the temporary inconvenience.

Likewise, my mind turns away from Truth, not because it's too hard to behold, but because it's trained to swaddle itself in the comforts of its fictions.

The (Re-)Ascent of the Spiritual Scientist

2006-04-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

Just discovered One Cosmos, the blog of one Robert Godwin. His writing on Spirit is extraordinary, and very much in line with Integral thinking. Here's a sliver from his recent post:

Here is what is at the ultimate root of the so-called “culture war”: are we going to live in an ascending culture or a descending one? In just my lifetime, I have seen how these positions have been reversed. When I was a boy growing up in the 1960’s, there were still many elements and reminders of ascent all around. There were plenty of virtuous and heroic men to look up to, both in real life and in the media. There wasn’t the secular hatred of the higher life, nor was there the obnoxious celebration of everything that is coarse, vulgar, and “authentic.” There was implicit awareness of a spiritual hierarchy, and some acknowledgment that it was worthwhile to try to aspire upward--not materially, but spiritually.

Today everyone is equal, but the only way you can achieve that is by assaulting and negating the vertical. I hope my son always knows that there are people lower than him to whom he is obligated, and people higher than him to whom he has the obligation to revere and emulate. Never emulate someone lower, and never presume to instruct or consider yourself equal to the truly Superior Man. Both stances are spiritually toxic. Schuon is just one of about a dozen such personages to whom I look up with reverence, awe, and gratitude.

What is it that has caused this postmodern flattening? I think the problem, sociologically (and mind you, I speak with only a thimbleful of the knowledge that guys like Godwin and Wilber possess), is that spirituality became religion, and mysticism became ritual. When religion was institutionalized, it cut off the individual seeker from direct communion with the Divine. We'll mediate between you and God, they said - don't worry your pretty little head about surmising the Divine Will.

If "religioning", as Godwin puts it, is going to have a significant revival, it will need to re-dawn as a creative mystical exercise. Somewhere between the models of Campbell and Wilber is a religious "sweet spot" where we can have creativity without chaos, mysticism without irrationalism, Deity without mediation, reverence without institutionalization.

Each of us must become a spiritual scientist. Each of us must take our faith and our destiny in our own hands, and do the hard work required to discover the truth of our own nature for ourselves.

What is Meditation?

2006-04-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

Deliberate daily exercise in discrimination between the true and the false and renunciation of the false is meditation. There are many kinds of meditation to begin with, but they all merge finally into one.

- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Time Is Always On My Side

2006-04-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

Integral Awakening has a great post up on what he calls "time yoga", or the art of using your time efficiently. Check it out.

Time yoga has been a big concern for me lately. During the past two years of my depression, I've engaged in more than my fair share of mindless Net surfing. Let me face facts: it was an addiction. It didn't help that I was contributing four to 10 times daily to two blogs. Even beyond that, however, I can't count the hours I wasted trolling political blogs, reading news sites, and Googling obscure trivia.

(Speaking of which, did you know that earwigs don't really crawl into your ear and lay eggs in your brain? Gah. Sorry. Old habits and all that...)

I've managed to pull myself out of this addiction largely through the method that IA suggests. I ask myself, whenever I find that I'm lolligagging, "Am I making the best use of my time right now?" Usually, the answer I get is, "You know it's not, skippy."

I've overcome the worst wastes of my time by confining my news surfing to 10-minute increments throughout the day, and foreswearing any and all political blogs. My next goal in the campaign to reclaim my time: keeping my email window closed, and only checking personal mail two or three times daily. I'm doing it s-l-o-w-l-y, though, lest the digital withdrawal send me into anaphylactic shock.

IA points out that valuing your time is a form of valuing yourself. If you're wasting your time on trivia, you obviously don't care that much for who or where you are. This was an eye-opening statement for me. For over two years, I wasted mucho time on my job. At the time, I told myself it was the company's fault. My job was unfulfilling, the company was making moronic decisions, etc. In reality, however, it was no one's fault but mine. I was disengaged, angry, and chock full of self-loathing.

So, note to self: Mindless Net surfing == downward slide into depression. Check.

Lately, I've found that posing the "Am I making the best use of my time" question is even more effective when I give it a bodhisattva twist. I ask myself: "Are my actions at this moment benefiting both myself and others?" Fundamentally, this is just an explosion of the word "best" in a spiritual context. For me, it helps to make that explicit, since historically my warped definition of "best" has been...well, let's just say not that beneficial to myself and others.

Devotional Improv: Stimulate Spirit by Making It Up As You Go Along

2006-04-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

Great Goddess, Divine Mother, Cosmic Creatrix,
may the ambrosia of your compassion overflow
the chalice of my being.

Recently, I've noticed that I feel compelled to compose devotionals and poetry in moments when I'm overcome with Divine love and joy. ( I define "devotional" here as "contemplative prayer in praise of Deity or Spirit". I prefer this to "prayer", which in mainstream American religious thought is often interpreted as result-oriented prayer - asking Deity to give you a raise, smite the heathens, etc.)

I wondered: Is this process reflexive? Could I be overcome with Divine love and joy by composing my own devotionals? The answer, thankfully, is "yes". Based on this work, I've made "Devotional Improv" a daily part of my practice.

Devotional Improv is easy:

Still your mind using whatever technique works well for you. A la Genpo Roshi's "Big Mind" technique, you may ask to speak to the Wise Mind, or speak to the Non-Grasping Mind. Or, you may choose to recite a mantra with great fervor and devotion.
Once you have reached a state of stillness and clarity, create your devotional as you pray. Don't concern yourself with getting it "right" the first time.
If you feel the need to restart, to change the phrase you just uttered - do it. (The above devotional took three tries before it came out in its current form.) Seek out the words and meanings that cause your heart to swell.
Keep yourself open to wisdom. Let wisdom work through you. Let wisdom traverse your synapses, stimulating and re-wiring your mind. Tap into past learning, intuition, and the universal Spirit of infinite Knowing.
Neither get frustrated by your lack of wit, nor ensnared within admiring your own cleverness. This is an offering you're making to Deity. Your offering is no better and no worse than anyone else's. What matters is that you stimulate the movement of Spirit within you and through you.
Once you have composed a devotional prayer that stimulates your Spirit, repeat it 3, 7, or 21 times.
Write your devotional down in a journal for later reference.

Since I'm a Deity mystic, my devotions are directed to the Goddess. You can easily create impersonal devotions to Spirit as well.

Surviving an Ego Attack

2006-04-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

Saturday: Bad day. We're adjusting to life with my grandson in the house, which has temporarily turned our schedule upside-down. My wife is spending evenings upstairs with her daughter, teaching her the ins and outs of breastfeeding a screaming baby at 3am. Me? I'm on duty with the four little ones, with the gracious (and invaluable) assistance of my mother and mom-in-law.

On top of this, we learned on Friday that my grandmother has severe colon cancer. Doctors are going in on Monday afternoon to see if they can remove the tumors and save her from this scourge.

The stress with my grandmother, plus the diversion of attention toward the new wee one, set my consciousness on a downward slide Saturday. My Child Ego kept screaming to me that we weren't getting enough attention - we were shouldering too much housework and kid detail - we didn't even have sufficient time and energy to meditate, for crissakes. How am I supposed to transcend the limits of the self and weaken my attachments IF I CAN'T FUCKING MEDITATE??!!

I let the feelings of my Child Ego run through me all morning and afternoon, neither condoning nor condemning them. I applied the appropriate antidotes: taking the second-person perspective (reminding myself that my wife, steppdaughter and moms were working as hard, if not harder, than I was); reminding myself of my Pagan bodhisattva mission; meditating when I could on the Four Thoughts; reciting Goddess mantras and devotionals - the whole nine yards. All to no avail. There seemed to be no antidote to the poison in which my mind was steeped.

But I was being bitchy and short with people nonetheless. I had to face facts: I was too tired to police my thoughts successfully. My mother-in-law kindly let me grab an hour's nap while my youngest son slept. My mind was wracked with thoughts of defeat. This path is hopeless. I'll never overcome my own defects. Wouldn't it be easier just to give up?

Somehow, though, I managed to let these thoughts and feelings pour through me without disappearing entirely down the rabbit hole. I awoke an hour or so later - still somewhat grumpy, but feeling refreshed enough to tackle the challenges remaining in the day without tearing anyone's head off.

Sunday: Excellent day. I was not only better, I was ebullient. I caught the wave of the Tao and rode it 'til the sun went down. Egotistical thoughts reared their head constantly, but fell away just as quickly when they discovered that they weren't winning my endorsement. Every action, no matter how insignificant, became a service to the Goddess. I was filled from the start to the end of the day with passion and joy for life. I felt like I was here to serve as an end in itself, without reward - and I was pleased to be of service.

The lesson learned: Counter-programming (viz. applying "antidotes" to self-limiting thoughts) is effective, but in the long run. Some times, I'm just in a bad fucking mood. I slip out of the Goddess groove and into my old funk, and no amount of counter-programming will lift me out of it. There may be no better solution in these times than to abide in faith and knowledge, check my behavior the best that I can, and wait for the clouds to pass over. Once they pass, I will likely find myself filled with joy and awe at the wonder of the Divine all around me.

Being on this path is no guarantee that I will never be out of sorts. But my path gives me the wisdom to know that such moods, like all other thoughts and feelings and desires, are impermanent. Like the thoughts that bounce around in my field of consciousness during meditation like possessed Mexican jumping beans, these moods too will not only arise and abide, but subside.

Rather than dread these moods, I learned this weekend that I should cherish them. They are unique challenges - and facing them brings Divine rewards.

Integral Options on Tarot, And Other Great Posts

2006-04-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

I'm really enjoying Bill's writing at Integral Options Cafe. (Not so much that I'd have sex with him or anything, mind you. I'm sure both of our wives would object.) Bill has three great posts up this week:

A dissertation on Card VI, The Lovers, from the Tarot. This is part of a continuing series by Bill examining each of the Major Arcana. The comments contain some great advice by Bill on different types of meditations you can do with either the entire deck or just the Major Arcana.
A spiritual defense of meat-eating. Carnivores unite!
Another thoughtful piece on the spiritual meaning of relationships, and how the partners we choose un-closet the childhood issues we'd have rather left in mothballs. Bill points out the biggest fear to overcome in doing this sort of work: the ego's fear that it will "die" if it has to face such overwhelming emotions.
But it won't die. The emotions that come up will be hard, they will feel like they're never going to recede, and the pain will feel like it is happening right now instead of 30+ years ago. But it will fade away as soon as it is released. I know this, and yet I fear the process.
You're not alone, my friend.

On Meditating and (Still) Being an Insufferable Asshole: Robert Augustus Masters on Integral Naked

2006-04-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

The Integral Naked discussion boards are buzzing about the dialogue between Robert Augustus Masters and Stuart Davis. I've never read Masters' work. I'll be rectifying that error in due course.

One of my favorite points was when Masters talked about how common it if for spiritual folk to cover up pre-rational problems with trans-rational mannerisms. In other words, we slather spiritual "special sauce" over incidents and attitudes - anger, resentment, selfishness - that have crystallized in our consciousness. We tell ourselves that we're good and selfless and full and love and light. These ideas of ourselves are not realities, but conceptions we use to beat down the knowledge of what's actually inside our minds. It affords us the convenience of pretending we're healed without ever actually healing.

What Masters proposes is radical: not freedom from one's phenomenal self, but freedom through intimacy. By knowing and interacting deeply both with others and with ourselves, we learn to look compassionately upon our traits - some of which may be like "mineral deposits" that are embedded in us for life - and relate to them skillfully.

Does this mean meditation is useless? Not from my experience. If anything, this dialog emphasizes - albeit indirectly - the importance of meditation.

Stuart Davis' point is accurate: Spiritual practitioners in the West are waking up to the fact that you can meditate for 30 years and still be an asshole. But recent events have taught me that meditation is an invaluable backdrop for this moment-by-moment intimacy that Masters and Davis rightly covet. Meditation has taught me that I am not my thoughts, feelings, and desires by giving me the tools to stand back from them and observe their ebb and flow. This stillness of mind that I'm developing has helped me disidentify with my mind so that I can work with it.

What's more, my daily meditation has brought my shadow self to the fore, so that I can deal with that and heal from it as well. I've learned over the past several weeks that I have a dark, angry side to my self that manifests at odd moments. It's a side that feels constantly oppressed by conditions and circumstances, that wants to lash out violently at everyone and everything in its path. It's the part of me that doesn't want to be held responsible for the choices it's made. Instead of owning up, it projects those choices onto others, and revels in being the outraged martyr. If this shadow had its way, I would either wallow in hedonistic pleasure until my life was left in tatters around my feet - or (more likely) snap some evening, down a shitload of pills, and drive my car off the nearest high bridge.

It's not that this shadow has never emerged before. It's that I'm unable to ignore it any longer. Previously I would feel such shame and regret over its emergence that I would shove it back down under whatever rock of my subconscious it had scurried out from under. That's harder to do when you're working with your self every moment of every day. It's like swatting flies off of the elephant in your living room, while pretending that the elephant doesn't exist.

Without the foundation of my daily meditation work, this shadow would be much harder to work with. The knowledge I've gained about the nature of my own mind through meditation is what has given me the courage to engage it.

Ken Wilber said at a recent talk with Andrew Cohen that meditation changes "the fundamental fabric of the cosmos". I don't doubt it. Meditation graces me with the realization that everything - both outer and inner - is dependent arising. I may have created it through my choices; some of it may have been impressed upon me by my parents, my friends, my culture; some of it I may have created uncnsciously, never realizing what subtle conclusions and limitations I was weaving with the yarn of my neural net. But none of it is "me" in any fundamental sense. It's all phenomenal, unbidden, the cumulative effect of a million causes both monumental and miniature.

When I first started on my spiritual path many years ago, I assumed that my mind was infinitely flexible, and being happy was merely a matter of going from room to room in the palace of my mind and evicting the lousiest of its tenants. These days, I'm more in tune with Masters' view. My goal is to use techniques from psychology and spirituality to develop habits of thought and action that manage and, ultimately, transcend these ingrained habits. They may still be with me when I die , but in a weak, neutered form.

What is Shantideva's first piece of advice for dealing with emotions such as anger and pride in the Bodhicaryavatara?

When the urge arises in the mind
to feelings of desire and wrathful hate -
Do not act! Be silent, do not speak!
And like a log of wood be sure to stay.

In other words - STOP! Don''t feed the kleshas. Instead, step back and observe them impartially, neither fueling nor condemning these feelings. The ability to do this well - to step back and avoid getting hooked - comes from meditation, from the direct knowledge that I am not identical to my body, my thoughts, my feelings, or my desires. There is a greater Me that transcends dependent arising, is unconditional, diamond-like, sovereign. Get in touch with that Self, if even at a surface level, if even for only half a minute. Tap into that solemnity and stillness, not to avoid my "bad" emotions, but to face them impartially and without judgment. Only then can I decide on the most skillful course of action for addressing them.

Today's Thought

2006-04-21T16:38:00.000-07:00

Discover the opportunity inherent in every moment.

We Don't Need Diets

2006-04-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Diet Blog is posting about a plant from India that is reputed to suppress appetite. I'm on board with this comment:

Whether appetite suppressants in a pill form are effective or not - the overall concept is flawed. Any time you take a pill in the hopes of easy results - you fail to learn anything about healthful nutrition, better eating habits, or physical fitness.

I'm not judging people who use pills for weight loss. I've done it myself in the past, when being thin and beautiful were important to me. Now, however, I find it more important to be fit, so that my body and mind are fit receptacles for Spirit, and an appropriate channel for the greater work I have to do. I couple this motivation with mind training, breaking my attachment to food and examining my motives whenever I eat. (Am I eating for nutrition? Or because I'm bored, or depressed?) Whenever I find myself fancying the "vanity" benefits of being fit ("I'm gonna look so fucking hot!!"), I let the feeling pass through me, then gently remind myself that my devotion is to the Goddess, not to this temporary vehicle.

"Diet" has come to mean "something you do for four months to shed 80 pounds and bag babes". IMO, we don't need dieting. What we need is to make permanent lifestyle changes:

Decrease attachments
Increase concentration
Increase mindfulness
Decrease consumption
Make the welfare of all beings our solemn moral duty
Put our Divinity above our ego

Anything less is just suffering.

Important Matters

2006-04-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

Not much from me today in the way of high-falutin spiritual thoughts. My wife and I have spent the day enjoying the arrival of our grandson. :-)

Bodhisattva Field Notes #1: Don't You Tell ME Not to Be Stressed!

2006-04-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

My wife had a hectic schedule today, and succumbed to stress early in the am. We were chatting via IM, and I offered what I thought was sage advice: "Honey, don't be stressed. Just relax."

If you're thinking that this didn't work so well...well, you win the prize. As my wife said later, "Telling someone to 'relax' when they're stressed is like telling someone who's depressed to 'cheer up'."

Looking back on it now, I can see that when I first realized my wife was stressed, I reverted to thinking about myself. I thought about how frazzling it can be to be around her when she's stressed. I wanted to neutralize that ASAP - not for her sake, but for mine. I didn't realize it at the time, but what I felt was what Pema Chodron calls "the tug of shenpa": the feeling of being "hooked" when a powerful emotion is about to take over our thoughts, words, and actions.

The moral? Telling someone when they're in the thick of an emotion to drop it is a losing strategy. Better to do something constructive - like offer to perform one of their chores, or look at their list of tasks for something that can be put off until another day. Let the person deal with their emotion in time, in their own way. Beyond that, be there for them - lovingly, selflessly, completely. Let the tug of shenpa work its way through you, then rediscover your connection to the Divine and operate from Her radiance.

What is Enlightenment? Issue 32 - Thoughts

2006-04-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

By far the best article is the public Q&A and Ken Wilber and Andrew Cohen. An inspiring piece. Despite his contention that he's just a pandit, Wilber consistently comes across as one of the best spiritual teachers living today. I found Cohen insightful as well.

Choice points:

"New structures in consciousness are being laid down right now - they are just faint footprints on the face of the cosmos. So your behavior to the extent that you live up to your highest, is actually creating structures that future humanity will inhabit. Therefore choose your acts very, very carefully. Make sure that the next thing that you say comes from your highest self." - Ken Wilber
Cohen emphasized action from the ground of enlightened being. He took a small swipe at both Ram Dass and Eckhart Tolle: "Since the sixties, everyone's been talking about 'be here now', and now we have 'the power of now' - it's the same old thing. Personally, I think the last thing we need is more being here now. It's not enough." The dialogue had a strong emphasis on working toward unfolding God through our thoughts and actions.
My favorite AC quote in this vein: "When you realize that the universe can only know itself through the unique capacity for consciousness that you and I possess, suddenly it's not a burden to be alive. It's the greatest gift and greatest privilege to be a human being."

Elizabeth Debold stretches for a new model of femininity in "Beyond the Divine Feminine". I liked Debold's piece at the end on the call for a "new" femininity. She uses the example of Lucretia Mott as a woman with spiritual fire in her belly, a rabble-rouser - not your typical "let's sit down and knit our way to world peace" stereotype of women that was born out of the Industrial Revolution. I thought that observation was spot on.

Beyond that, however, I thought the piece was flawed. Debold jettisons the idea of the Divine Feminine because it "[makes] the feminine superior". That's a conflation of the Divine Feminine with actual women and actual femininity - it's a context switch. Sri Ramakrishna and Aurobindo were intoxicated with the energy of the Divine Feminine, and I don't think you can accuse either of these gurus of elevating women above men! The Divine Feminine is the closest way for us to approximate the Creatix, the power of birth and evolution as opposed to interruptive creation sui generis. It's much better to take the concept of the Divine Feminine back from the proponents of matriarchy than it is to accept the matriarchical interpretation of the Goddess and chuck the whole endeavor into the crapper.

Also, Debold manages to get away with talking about gender roles without ever once addressing the GLBT community, or discussing how male fear of homosexuality in the Western world might be preventing the very change she desires to see in men. How is it possible to discuss this topic today without incorporating that perspective?

We need to see more writing on sexuality from the homosexual and bisexual community. (In other words: Buy Joe's book!)
Some stuff on reincarnation - whether there's physical survival of bodily death, and how we need to redefine rebirth in a postmodern context, free from the superstition and pre-science of the legacy traditions. Very interesting, but for some reason, the topic doesn't light a fire under my ass.

Other interesting stuff in this issue that I haven't finished digesting yet...

Meditation VERSUS Concentration?

2006-04-17T17:38:00.000-07:00

I'm partial to agreeing with Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati:

Using mindfulness and concentration is not really a process of gluing together two systems. Because of various teaching lineages pulling them apart and creating the appearance of separateness, it can now seem that we are integrating two systems. It is only an appearance. Mindfulness and concentration have both been part of the same, one process of meditation for a very long time.

In Tibetan Buddhism, according to masters such as Deshung Rinpoche, there is a strict serial correlation between shamatha (calm abiding) and vipassana (insight): you master the nine stages of calm abiding before moving on to insight. Swami J's reasoning, by contrast, is that mindfulness alone results in "the mind [being] trained to always have this surface level activity present". We use concentration when we reach a point of stillness in the mind in order to zero in on that stillness, and pierce the veil of ego to discover who we truly are.

I find Swami J's words more persuasive because they accord better with my meditative experience. Since I've been able to sit for progressively longer sessions ever since my recent plateau jump, I've noticed that at a certain point, perceptions and thoughts fall away; the stillness rises out of the noise like a lotus rising out of the mud, and I hone in on that and hold it for as long as my currently feeble powers of concentration will allow.

Every Time You Swallow, Someone Starves to Death

2006-04-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

Watch this counter while you eat.

Talk about appetite control.

The Goddess of the Four Quarters

2006-04-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

Great Goddess of the East -
Bone of my flesh,
Refuge of the Dead:
i worship at your lotus feet.

Great Goddess of the South -
Fire of my passion,
Spirit of my Self:
In You my soul has found its home.

Great Goddess of the West -
Elixir of Life,
Ocean of Awareness:
Though i lay upon your breast,
i long for Your touch.

Great Goddess of the North -
Breath on my cheek,
Divine Will:
Even in Your darkest corners
Can i see Light.

****

The following devotional flows from my own Goddess Devotional practice. Some might find it overly personal, or even servile. But the tradition of bhakti - or absolute devotion to a specific Deity - has a long and storied history in religion, particularly in India. When asked to explain why he worshipped Mother Kali as opposed to the Divine Being of Brahman, the Divine without Form, the great mystic Sri Ramakrishna replied:

Satchidananda is like an infinite ocean. Intense cold freezes the water into ice, which floats on the ocean in blocks of various forms. Likewise, through the cooling influence of bhakti, one sees forms of God in oceans of the Absolute." (The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, p. 191)

Think of faith, then, as diving headlong into the ocean of the Absolute. Faith is not blind obedience to a scriptural authority. Faith is open trust; nondirected confidence; unconditional love; and intense longing. Devotion is the practice of faith - an act of both Creation and Identification in which the heart overrules the body-mind and sweeps one away in a joy that can only be experienced.

I can't explain my devotion to the Goddess, except that I know it is part of my spiritual destiny. Though I have many excellent, holy teachers helping me at various times on my path, ultimately, I regard the Goddess as my Guru.

I perform the devotional below at the beginning of my daily meditation ritual. It incorporates the "four quarters" of the Western Hermetic tradition, with North assigned to Air per Mike Nichols. The words incorporate both so-called "light" and "dark" aspects of the Goddess.

Before I recite each paragraph, I sit in the Burmese lotus position facing the appropriate direction, still my mind, and bow my forehead toward the floor, resting it on my clasped hands.

The Sleepy, Wandering Mind

2006-04-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

There are two times that I'm most frustrated by my mind:

When I go to sleep, and when I wake up.

Early on in my spiritual practice, I discovered that the hardest times to keep guard over my mind were when I was tired. When my thoughts are blurry and every third muscle in my body aches, it's simple to let my attention drift away into whatever thoughts and fantasies manage to worm their way into my mindstream. Hell, it seems downright natural.

As a result, I usually end up in the morning spending a half-hour in bed letting these thoughts tease and torment me before I have the smarts to yank my ass out. In the evening, I'm beset by strange ideas well into my dreams (which would explain last night's ditty in which Japanese schoolgirls had taken over the local police force, and were laser-frying everybody in sight).

How do I get past this? The only solution I see is "practice, practice, practice". I've defined night-time and rising rituals to counteract mindlessness. When I wake up, I recite the Bodhisattva Vow from Shantideva three times:

Just as the Buddhas of the past
Embraced the awakened attitude of mind,
And in the precepts of the Bodhisattvas,
Step by step, abode and trained;

Just so, and for the benefits of beings,
I also will have this attitude of mind,
And in those precepts, step by step,
I will abide and train myself.

If I find I need to stay in bed a little longer (I sleep with my two-year-old son, and sometimes he wants to get up a bit too early), I'll recite the Eight Verses of Thought Transformation, or various Goddess prayers and devotions I've composed. At night, I'll recite the phrase, "I will enter lucid dreaming tonight, and my dreams will bring forth deep wisdom" over and over until I fall asleep. I also may perform a trick I picked up from Stephen Laberge's Lucid Dreaming, and do reality tests to ensure I'm not already asleep.

This has all been...eh, somewhat effective. My mind tends to race less in the early mornings. More specifically, it races, but I snap to attention much more quickly, and can get a handle on it before I'm far off into the nether-reaches of Waking Dreamland.

I haven't noticed much appreciable difference at night yet. I've managed to lull myself into a deep dream sleep a few times, and have had some amazing dreams as a result. But this is inconsistent, and none of the dreams have been lucid. This may be due to a certain fear. The last few times I've been on the verge of lucid dreaming, it was brought about by the realization that time was moving irrationally in my dreams. For example, I'll be on the first floor of a house, where light is pouring through the windows, and then move up to the second floor, where the only light is a few scant moon rays. Both times, I was so terrified by the disparities that I bolted out of sleep. I have no idea how to counter this yet.

What else is there for me to do but to keep practicing? I've gotten discouraged by setbacks and plateaus in the past, but I feel like I'm past that point now. I've had enough success now that I know even the wildest mind can be reined in by daily meditation and bhakti. And I have faith - a faith bordering on scientific consensus - in the realizations of the great mystical teachers and practitioners who have gone before me. I know there will come a day when there is never a second that I feel myself detached from the embrace of the Goddess, and from the direct perception of my true, unborn nature.

The Measurable Four Immeasurables: Wishing Happiness, One Being at a Time

2006-04-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

A popular Tibetan Buddhist prayer is the Four Immeasurables. There are many variations on this, short and long. The one I have memorized goes:

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May they be free from suffering and from the causes of suffering.
May all being abide forever in bliss,
And may they reside in equanimity, harboring neither attachment nor aversion,
Believing in the equality of all.

I recite this as part of my prayers before the beginning of every meditation session, and recite it to myself throughout the day.

I've never used this prayer as the subject of its own meditation, however. Roger Walsh's Essential Spirituality has an idea for doing just that. Walsh offers a very condensed form of the Four Immeasurables - "May all beings be happy, joyful, loving, and peaceful." Rather than start with the universal, however, Walsh suggests starting by saying, "May I be happy, joyful, loving and peaceful." Then gradually extend this to relatives, friends, co-workers, acquaintances - eventually out to people you regard as your enemies, people who have wronged you. The advice, as usual, is not to repress or ignore any non-loving emotions that may arise as a result, but to let them work through you so you can gradually move past them.

I tried this a little this am while cleaning the house, and found it quite an engaging practice. I enumerated my entire family before moving on to colleagues and friends, and then on to people with whom I've had conflict in the past. I found it both relaxing and liberating.

I'm not going to replace my daily shamatha with this, but I may add 15 minutes of this practice to my daily schedule. I have a two-day retreat coming up near the end of May - this seems like a wonderful practice to perform for an hour or so. I'm sure that if I add celebrities and politicians into the mix, I can keep this sucker doing for a good long while!

Judas: The Original Suicide Bomber?

2006-04-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

The recently translated Gospel of Judas is available from National Geographic. While the Pope may not think much of it, but for many others it is no doubt a fascinating find. Here's my favorite quote:

Jesus said, “[Come], that I may teach you about [secrets] no person [has] ever seen. For there exists a great and boundless realm, whose extent no generation of angels has seen, [in which] there is [a] great invisible [Spirit],

which no eye of an angel has ever seen,
no thought of the heart has ever comprehended,
and it was never called by any name.

The Nazarene then goes about giving Judas a lesson in Christ Cosmology, setting up a situation which actually lends some sense to Genesis.

I'm unsure this story actually makes Judas more admirable than the traditional Gospel narrative. Judas supposedly betrays Jesus at Jesus' own behest in exchange, not for coin, but for a cosmic job promotion. Haven't we had enough killing in God's name lately?

Desires and Attachments

2006-04-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Desires are a necessary and natural part of life; attachments are an unnecessary source of suffering.

- Roger Walsh, Essential Spirituality: The 7 Central Practices to Awaken Heart and Mind

Mary Dwelley: "Close to a Saint"

2006-04-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

A special tribute to a special woman.

Previously: Prayers for Mary Dwelley

I Am NOT Food By-Product

2006-04-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

I had quite an experience lately that's had a profound impact on my meditation. I wanted to share it, in case it proved of some help to others.

My wife and I have been seeing a Reiki energy healer who works with our therapist. She's quite good, and has helped both of us shift a lot of energy around. In my case, I've felt a lot of freeing of the first, second, and fourth chakras from the work we've done together.

My last session, however, was...unique. In fact, it was a turning point in my practice. I laid on the table, as usual, and cleared my head as we began working with the subtle energies of my body. Now, I'm a normally nervous person, physically speaking. I scratch, shift, and fidget more than your average bear. During meditation, I'm apt to start moving my feet around the 15 to 20 minute mark, afraid that they're permanently fall asleep.

About 15 or 20 minutes into this session, however, after feeling energy circulate out from my second and fourth chakras, I felt a distinct urge to dissociate from my body. What caused this? Perhaps it's the reading I've been doing of A Simple Feeling of Being, the first part of which is a collection of various "pointing-out instructions" from Ken Wilber: "I am not my body; I have a body, but I am not my body. I can see and feel my body, and whatever I can see or feel is not the true Seer." - and so on for desires, emotions, and thoughts. I've been reciting this to myself throughout the day for a while now.

For some reason, however, the recitation about the body was the most striking for me. Perhaps it's because I'm starting at Ground Zero as far as meditation and spiritual progress goes. The past four to five months represents the longest stretch of time I've ever meditated, day in and day out. Whatever the reason, I let myself go into this recitation: I am not my body...I am not my body...I am not my body...

Some time later, I had a realization. It was partly visual, but mostly gut-level. I felt how my body had been composed since birth. I saw clearly the physical connection between everything I had eaten since infancy and the composition of my corporeal form - my skin, hair (well, what's left of it), bones, nails, teeth, cartilage, blood, sinew, muscle fiber, nerves, arteries, capillaries, neurons, synapses. I saw myself being built up from the nutrients of everything I or my mother had ever digested. I realized that some of these same atoms and molecules that were composing me through our food were some of the same atoms breathed by Julius Caesar, the same atoms that composed a species a million years extinct, the same atoms that were remnants of the dust of the birth of our aeon.

And it dawned on me.

The body CAN'T be me. The body is just meat. No, it's not just "meat" - it's food by-product!

And from there, I was off into deep meditation. Thoughts arose and abided and subsided, but nothing carried me away from my self.

By the time the session had finished, I had lain, totally immobile, for an hour. Since then, I've been able to extend my meditation sessions up to 35, 45, even 50 minutes, where previously I would have to struggle to hold on for 25. What's more, my meditations are much deeper now. I don't fidget; I don't move at all. When an itch appears, I am aware of it, but can let it arise, abide, and subside, just as I do with my thoughts. Thus I can concentrate solely on the task of letting my thoughts arise and abide as mere objects of awareness.

While I'm jazzed by this progress, I'm also staid about it. This is only one of the first dozen or so mile-markers in my 100-mile journey to a pathless destination. It's progress, but progress that signals the beginning of a new phase of my labor to gain that which I've never lost.

Celeb Worship and The Guru Concept

2006-04-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

Wow. And you thought people got excited at a chance to meet Brad Pitt. Somehow, I doubt an angry mob will try and force entry into Mr. Pitt's home after his passing.

I wonder: Does the prevalence in Indian culture of the guru concept make such hero-worship more likely and more rabid than in the West?

Prayers for Mary Dwelley

2006-04-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

My mom lost one of her closest friends yesterday. Mary Dwelley of Rochester, NY was taken in a horrible, freak car accident. (There's a photo of the car here.)

My mom was very close to Mary, having cared for her husband Bob during the last year of his life. As my mom says on her blog:
After her husband's death, Mary continued to devote herself to others in any way she could. "We are on this earth to take care of each other," is what she told me one day.
I didn't know Mary as well as my mother, but I met with her and even stayed in her home when I was on break from college. She was a sweet, giving, wonderful woman. This world grieves her loss.

Please keep Mary Dwelley's soul in your thoughts and prayers today.

Please also keep Tommy Baker and his family in your thoughts. Baker was driving the car that slammed head-on into Mary. He has had two surgeries so far; when he recovers, he stands to face charges. There hasn't been a full accounting yet, but if initial reports are accurate, Baker made a bad mistake while driving - a mistake that will undoubtedly haunt him and those who love him for years.

Haiku from the Depths

2006-04-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

The firm scientist
peering through the lens of this
body: That is I.

Radical Spirit

2006-04-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

I know what's next on my reading list after I finish The Simple Feeling of Being.

Has anyone read this? What do you think? The endorsements are pretty much off the hook.

The Breaking Point of Enlightenment

2006-04-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what to think of Andrew Cohen. There are people who defend him passionately, and also Web sites that spare no pains in abusing him. His critics seem to be fuming with hatred, which makes it hard to cull wheat from the hyperbolic chaff. At this point, it's hard to say what's true and what's fabricated.

What seems clear is that Cohen takes drastic steps to try and awaken people, and that this has pushed many out of his circle. If some of the stories are to be believed, a few were pushed to the brink of collapse. I wondered why someone would take such a rough-and-tumble approach to awakening Americans - who, as a rule, aren't a psychologically secure bunch to start with.

Then something struck me: How did I get to the place I'm at? It was a life tragedy that brought me here, a life crisis that broke down many of the barriers to practice that my ego had erected. I thought about other people whose spiritual journeys started in a similar fashion: Pema Chodron, who embraced Buddhism after the collapse of her marriage; Lama Surya Das, who went off to the mountains of Nepal after the Kent State shootings; Eckhart Tolle, whose profound realization came when he was on the bring of suicide - and countless, countless others.

Could this be what Cohen is attempting to do with his practice? Is he seeking ways to induce life crises that cause profound shifts in consciousness?

I have no idea if Cohen is himself enlightened. But if he's using such a potentially fruitful yet dangerous tactic to awaken people, he damn well better be.

(And someone should update his damn blog too. Sorry, had to get that out there.)

The Buddhist Blogosphere Roundup

2006-04-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

Zen Unbound does a wonderful job of pulling this together every week. Go check it out, and keep yourself busy for a few hours with chock loads of Dharma and Integral goodness.

This Is What We Are

2006-04-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

Never forget that we ourselves are acts of compassion.

Heart-Pouring

2006-04-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago, during bhakti meditations on the Goddess, I had some profound experiences which resulted in me crumpling over and breaking down into sobs. After that point, I felt my heart open - literally, physically, felt an energy of connectedness pour from my heart. I didn't achieve any type of absorption; I certainly hadn't entered the subtle realm, as Wilber has described it in his journeys. I just felt more...open. More free. More loving and accepting. It was a physical presence that swirled around in my chest and exploded out to all of my extremities, causing me to radiate hope to the four quarters.

Several days after that experience, I lost the feeling. The connectedness was gone. I wept to the Goddess that it might return, but to no avail. I felt stuck. Lost. Abandoned. My spiritual practice waned, and I didn't return to it in a dedicated fashion until recently.

After about four months of dedicated meditation practice, however, that feeling has returned. I feel whole and connected again, suffused with the energy of boundless love. I feel like doing nothing but acting for the good of all, bringing others to the realization of this tremendous joy, this limitless heart-pouring that drinks in life and yields tears and laughter in return.

The meditation and the calming of my mind have certainly helped. While walking around during the day, I feel that it's easier to recapture some of the peace and tranquility I sometimes manage to achieve during shamatha. This time, however, it's different. Deeper. More profound. Still not a subtle-realm experience, but definitely stronger, less shakeable.

I feel that's because it's based, not just on devotion to the Mother Goddess, but on the cultivation of bodhicitta. It is part of the Goddess - part of the compassionate unfolding of this matrix of existence - but it transcends even her. The work I've been doing in developing relative bodhicitta, practicing tonglen, equalizing and exchanging self and other - it has done wonders in purifying my motivation.

This is the great gift that Tibetan Buddhism has brought to my spiritual practice. It is the gift given to me by the masters of this particular tradition. The emphasis on motivation - a weekly subject of HH Jigdal Dagchen Rinpoche's Sunday teachings during Chenrezi - has done wonders in helping sift the selfishness out of my practice. Before, I was meditating solely for the benefit of my personal connection with the Goddess, and for personal glory. Now, I sit for the benefit of all beings. This is a lesson I hadn't learned prior to my spiritual breakdown; it took my life crashing down around my head for me to open my heart and soul to these teachings.

It is because of their teachings that I ask in any personal conflict, "What can I do or say at this moment to bring this person true happiness?" It is because of their insights that I work diligently with my reactivity. It is because of their example that my spiritual practice has been renewed, and I have found a greater sense of purpose.

It's not about me. It's not about any one of us. It's about all of us - we who are in truth one without a second, the Original Face behind the myriad of masks we've donned since beginningless time.

A Morning Prayer

2006-04-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

Great Goddess of the Four Quarters,
On this day:

May I make the utmost of this precious human life.
May I be of ultimate service to others.
May I see and correct all of my imperfections.
May all living beings be my holy guru.
May I recognize the dream-like nature of existence.
May I radiate the truth of Your loving embrace.
May I bask in my true Self.
May all borders vanish.

Yogani on Spiritual Experimentation

2006-04-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

More Yogani:

If your path is serving you well, stay with it. If you are finding fulfillment over time, you are in the right place. However, if your tradition is mostly serving you well, yet seems to be lacking in some way, find the courage and flexibility to try and fill in what is missing. In the end, it is you who will unfold bliss consciousness by your own efforts through devotion and application of the most comprehensive practices you can find. This point of view may fly in the face of traditions that insist we cannot achieve salvation by any other means but theirs. Maybe so, but that approach also shuts the door on further inquiry and scientific investigation into the practices of human spiritual transformation. The methods of Western science can offer much in this regard -- highly integrated and collaborative approaches for discovering and applying knowledge. The success of Western science in many fields has been astounding. It is time for these methods of knowledge development to be applied in the arena of spiritual knowledge.

Oh, I like this guy.

Who is Yogani?

2006-04-09T10:10:00.000-07:00

Reports claim he is "the first spiritual eGuru." I don't know any of his history (few do, apparently). But he's laid out all of his knowledge on a Web site. It's extensive, erudite, and accords with what I know about the practices discussed. The chapters about Kundalini and sex are exactly what you'd expect from a successful Western practitioner: honest, fearless, and useful.

He seems to know little of the Integral movement, but his words are perfectly in agreement with it:

That is why you will be hearing the phrase "integrated practice" a lot here. It is not a new idea. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali lay out an eight-limbed path of practice. Most traditions lean toward one limb or another. It is natural enough. How many balls can anyone keep in the air? But if you want to really make progress in this life, you must multi-channel your efforts in the direction you want to go. It is like that in all things. Spiritual practice is no different.

While he sells this info in books, the meat of all of the lessons are available on his Web site. For free. Isn't that the way it ought to be?

Sex and Buddhism

2006-04-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

On one of the email lists to which I belong, someone brought up that Buddhist scriptures frown upon homosexuality, oral sex, anal sex, and masturbation. In other words, everything that makes America great.

As a bisexual man (not to mention a firm believer in the joys of oral sex), I can't help but bang my gavel whenever someone brings this up.

All religious works are the works of man, and are subject to corruption of one form of another. Any religion that carries great wisdom also carries with it myth, superstition, and the cultural prejudices of its time period. The Bhagavad Gita contains great wisdom - and it also contains paeans to, and enumerations of, the caste system. Arjuna is exhorted, not to do what is good and right for a human being, but what is appropriate to his caste.

Should the Gita be thrown out? No. Gandhi didn't throw it out; even though he disagreed with the caste system, he viewed the Gita as a monumental work of religion. He lived its life by its teachings. Modern spiritual seekers should take from it what sings to the soul, and leave behind what is an affront to conscience.

The only "sin" for a Buddhist is an action that clouds the mind with anger and confusion, and embeds one further in the delusion of samsara. Calling homosexuality a "sin" in 21st century America is nothing short of discrimination.

And before someone brings it up: Yes, we should respect and venerate the great spiritual masters. Part of respecting them is challenging them in those areas where we believe their wisdom is outdated. Spirituality is not static - it evolves. If we treat their work as static dogma, we betray their teachings.

So let's please refrain from propagating vicious dogma that instills prejudice against our brothers and sisters.

The Integral Wiki

2006-04-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

This is damn cool. The temptation to scribble useful bits all over it is almost overwhelming.

Religion Piece Leaves Out the Non-Book Religions

2006-04-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

Jason Pitzl-Waters has the skinny on a piece that appeared in Slate talking about the religious left. He noticed the same thing I noticed: the article excludes any mention of anybody outside of the monotheistic religions.

Jason's irked that they left off Pagans. As well he should be. Looking at the numbers provided by Adherents.com, we can see that Paganism is at least half a million folks strong. Just above this number, Unitarian Universalists (my family's umbrella faith organization) number close to 1 million.

These may be drop-in-the-water numbers compared to 224 million avowed Christians. But, let's face it: that's a bullshit number. The number of denominations subsumed under the "Christian" label, and the radical differences separating those denominations, makes this total all but worthless. Break this number down into meaningful denominations, and the numbers are much less intimidating. And let's not even get into the fact that many UUs are Christians! (And then there are the radical differences in adherents to Islam. You can't exactly lump Wahabists and Sufi into the same stew pot. Damn, son, this religion thing is tricksy...)

But that's not the point. Both UUs and Pagans are very politically active, much more than the average citizen. The article ignores large blocks of liberal activists, whose influence undoubtedly surpasses their numbers, simply because they have the audacity to be "non-Christian". And it entirely ignores American Buddhists, who equal the number of adherents of Islam in the US.

Jason makes a good point about why this is important:

It matters because when terms like "religious left" (and "religious right") become defined as "lefty Jesus vs. righty Jesus" or even "lefty patriarchal sky father vs. righty patriarchal sky father," then the voices of the faithful who don't hold those views are shoved out of the big tent.

I think such attitudes also undermine those Christians who are becoming part of the larger interfaith experiment in this country. As I've noted previously, we're moving toward a time where faith is becoming more flexible, and people pick and choose those spiritual technologies that work for them, metaphysics be damned. Phenomena like the Episcopagans are becoming increasingly more common. The Integral movement is leading the revolution in this regard; I have no doubt the same type of technology-centric view of spirituality as Integral promulgates will come to dominate American society in the coming years.

We're a technological, scientific society which is becoming more technologically and scientifically minded about our spirit. Like the great mystics of the past, more and more people are unwilling to let an anointed priest mediate between them and the Divine. They yearn to experience the Mystery of their own Being for themselves - and are willing to use whatever techniques and insights the great teachers of spiritual history have left behind to accomplish this.

Labels as such are becoming less important in progressive spirituality. Any "religious left" worth its salt ought to regard such boxing as an evil that hinders more than it helps.

Dream and Nightmare

2006-04-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

Here's a nice talk by Lama Surya Das on enlightenment as "just being".

True meditation is wisdom, it is the Buddha's way of life. In this manner, we come to be living the enlightened life. Not just trying to catch the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but appreciating every step along the way. The whole rainbow, not just those colors in the distance, but everything as a form of light. And not just the rainbow, but also the shadow, the cloudy rainstorm. Maybe not always smiling. Also appreciate the tears, the concerns, and so on. Everything is part of it. Let's not just be love-and-lighters, but learn to appreciate the entire spectrum of dream-like, magical experiences, just as they are.

I've found much of my practice lately consists of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's like the story of Ananda becoming enlightened after he gave up on achieving enlightenment. There's nothing to achieve, nothing to "get". There isn't anything I can obtain, spiritually, that isn't already my essential nature.

Seeking the Witness or nondual awareness as a goal or path is just more of the same: more grasping, more desire, more suffering. I find myself repeatedly and pointedly asking my mind, "Why can't you just give up? Reality will never bow to your conceptions of perfection. Why do you persist on witholding happiness and joy from yourself and others? Why are you constantly making yourself miserable?"

I've been a big proponent of process and working to absolve one's self of "obscurations". Lately, I can't help viewing that all as crap. So long as you're constantly believing you have to purify yourself of obscurations, you won't get it. So long as you're waiting on a lama or guru to nod his head sagely and bestow upon you this or that empowerment or blessing, you won't get it. You'll keep denigrating yourself, setting yourself back, deeming yourself "unworthy" of receiving the Great Truth. You'll talk yourself straight out of the direct perception of who and what you really are.

And isn't this what we do every second of every goddamn day? From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, life is a constant confusion of our true selves with the objects of awareness. The Witness is fries, and we insist on drowning it in ketchup. We see ourselves in our minds, our thoughts, our feelings, our spouses, our kids, our bank accounts, our jobs, our cars, our worries, our hopes, our fears, our plans. We're like Leonard Shelby in Memento: we may have a passing realization of our true nature while walking through the woods or driving to work - but just like that, it's gone, our memories wiped clean of everything true and good, forcing us to fill the emptiness with alternating doses of dream and nightmare.

It's frustrating. Maddening. Insane.

And it has to end.

Now.

Judas Iscariot's 1700-Year-Old "Get Out of Hell Free" Card Put Back Together Again

2006-04-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

A fascinating story about the lost Gnostic gospel. Anyone who loves the depiction of the Ju-man in The Last Temptation of Christ will be heartened by this restoration.

The big question in my mind: Will this discovery help re-acquaint people with the Gnostic gospels, and empower more people to redefine their approach to the Christian faith? Here's hoping.

My Ego Beat Up Your Superego

2006-04-05T17:49:00.000-07:00

Idea:

The ego of the typical Westerner isn't strong enough for him or her to be selfless.

Discuss.

Gandhi Meets Buddha - and the Monastery Dies

2006-04-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

Love this new interview with Robert Aitken Roshi in Tricycle, if for nothing else than for the description of how Gandhi influenced the Nichiren monks in Japan to become engaged with the world.

...traditionally Buddhism was confined to the monastery, where the vow to save
the many beings was very abstract on the one hand, and quite confined on the
other. In the early years of this century some Buddhist monks, influenced by
Western thinking, joined in the Tokyo streetcar strike. And their bishops were
admonished that they could lose their status if this kind of radical action
continued. From the beginning, it has behooved the Buddhist establishment in
Japan to toe the political line. Now, the Myohoji sect of Nichiren Buddhism
exploded this pattern after the war, under the influence of their teacher,
Nichidatsu Fujii, who had studied with Gandhi. Today the Myohoji monks chant at
trouble spots all over the world. In Sri Lanka two Myohoji monks were
assassinated as they walked along chanting. The Myohoji monks have put
themselves on the line as active peacemakers.

This is how it should be: the best ideas from the great traditions crossing boundaries and interpenetrating one another.

Aitken Roshi also believes the monastery is dead. I'm inclined to agree.

Yeah. It doesn’t fit our culture. It’s time to move out. Certainly, as religion
evolves, certain things are lost or dropped and certain things are gained. I do
not want to convey the Japanese Buddhism that I learned. What I am seeking to
do, as best I can, is to convey what realization is for us in the Americas and
in Europe and in Australasia, without losing the fundamental points. When
Yun-men said, “Every day is a good day,” he was saying something that completely
transcends Zen. Completely transcends anything cultural. And if you really see
into what Yun-men is saying, nothing is lost. A certain cultural accretion or
cultural clothing is dropped off because when I say that to you now, I’m not
standing on a podium with my monks standing before me, with the expectation that
someone will come forward and make three bows and challenge me.

He also thinks we're living in dark, degenerate times, and is pretty pessimistic about the fate of the world. I don't agree, but neither do I blame him.

Thoughts on Tonglen

2006-04-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

Tonglen is the Buddhist practice of breathing in the world's suffering, and breathing out peace and relief. Not only does this practice get you in touch with the suffering experienced by others, it enables you to transcend your own suffering.

I've been using this technique to great effect, but have been concerned recently that it was pretentious. What am I saying when I employ Tonglen? Am I saying that I am stronger than everyone else in the world? That I can take on their suffering without it collapsing my heart, like some Atlas of the spirit realm?

A talk by Ken Wilber on Tonglen helped me gain perspective on the practice. (Integral Naked subscription required to view.) Before beginning the practice, Ken urges the audience to bring forth the non-grasping mind using Genpo Roshi's Big Mind technique. He emphasizes that it is necessary to call forth this mind because "charity saves from death. Spirit is 'I' and 'We' and 'It'....Rest in the Diamond mind, rest in the everpresent non-seeking mind that you are. Because otherwise you're just a finite thing emoting over another finite thing."

It's a dramatic point, one that made total sense the minute it flowed upon the shore of my feeble mind. You can only exchange self and other on a level deeper than that of phenomenal awareness. In phenomenal awareness, we are all separate; in infinite, ever-present awareness, there is neither self nor other, nor the absence of self or other.

It's not that I, personally, am strong enough to take on the world's suffering. My ego is not that strong. (That's not a point against the ego - it's simply stating that the ego is phenomenal and limited.) It's that I must attain a state of awareness that goes beyond suffering. Tonglen is the practicing of attaining that awareness on the spot, in the moment, whenever you sense yourself getting hooked.

Later that day, something else occurred to me regarding Tonglen: it is the model of all pure selfless action. When I do something good for someone else, without expecting anything else in return, I am doing Tonglen.

My family is sick and needs me there; I take their suffering without complaint and spend all day cooking, cleaning, and caring. I am hurt, angry, and lonely; my wife drops what she's doing, listens to me, feels for me, lets me cry on her, gives strength to me. Someone donates money anonymously to charity, without thought or desire for reward. A teacher bestows the gift of self-knowledge on her students, giving the teaching freely to all worthy of receiving it.

It is all Tonglen. It is absorbing a piece of the world's suffering, and giving back peace and relief - even if only temporary - through one's actions.

HH the Dalai Lama: Westerners Are a Bunch of Whiny Bitches

2006-04-03T17:36:00.000-07:00

The bad news? HH still believes blowjobs and buttfucking are taboo. (His loss on both counts.)

The good news? Westerners suck!

He told the broadsheet that Westerners had become self-absorbed, burdened with too much choice.
"It is fascinating. In the West, you have bigger homes, yet smaller families; you have endless conveniences -- yet you never seem to have any time. You can travel anywhere in the world, yet you don't bother to cross the road to meet your neighbours," he said.
"I don't think people have become more selfish, but their lives have become easier and that has spoilt them. They have less resilience, they expect more, they constantly compare themselves to others and they have too much choice -- which brings no real freedom."

I don't think the problem is "too much choice" as opposed to a sense of convenience and entitlement. But otherwise, I agree with HH 100%. And not because of what I've observed Bob Jones of 1056 Riverside Drive doing, but because of my own personal experience with being a big whiny bitch. I've been a perpetrator of "bourgeious suffering" throughout most of my adult life. Latte took two minutes longer to prepare than I demanded? Give your barista a boot to the head! Cut off in traffic? Fuck mantras - lay on the horn! Nothing like a good road rage incident on the 6 o' clock news to balance out all that boring gab about social security reform.

I think about what I could have accomplished with all of the mental energy I've wasted fedding myself stories about how badly life sucks, and it makes me want to ~~try~~ cry. [Damn typos.]

Mother Goddess, Cut in Twain

2006-04-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

One of the most fascinating stories I've ever read is the life story of Sri Ramakrishna. Ramakrishna was a Hindu mystic, a man of little education but of vast spiritual powers. Through his life, he was a devotee of the Goddess Kali Ma. But he also explored the mystical mysteries of other religious traditions, including Christianity and Islam. In one experience described in his biography, he decided to attain a realization of non-dual awareness, which culminated in him slicing his beloved Mother Goddess in half with a sword. Even after this experience, however, Ramakrishna's devotion to Kali Ma never wavered.

I fell into worship of the Great Goddess several years ago, after stumbling on to Paganism and Wicca. For some reason I was drawn to the idea of a universal Creatrix, who breathed life-energy through the matrix of creation. Connecting with Her through various rituals - from elaborate ecstatic dances down to simple gestures, such as leaning against a tree or beholding the clear night sky in awe - felt like connecting with the energy of my own being. It was my first awareness that I was no longer a name and social security number on the header of a credit report. There was more to "I" than met the eye.

I never fell into a full-fledged Wiccan practice, though. Despite my Pagan beliefs, the contemplative traditions held much sway over my consciousness. The idea that my "self" was an illusion fostered by a deluded mind had an allure that never lost its sheen. When I followed the recommendations of meditation masters and examined my own mind, I could see an inkling of the truths they propounded. I knew I had to widen my practice beyond ecstatic ritual and energy work.

I didn't feel like the final piece of the puzzle fell into place, however, until I studied the concept of bodhicitta. Many good people swear by the "Wiccan Rede": "An' it harm none, do as thou wilt." These people are kind and open-hearted, and in many cases are pillars of their community. For me, however, this dictum seemed lacking. I didn't simply want to avoid inflicting harm - I wanted to help! I wanted to find ways to take others along on this journey. It felt, in my heart, like an obligation I had to others; it wasn't optional, and it didn't allow putting my interests above theirs.

[In all fairness, many interpret "thou" in this statement the same way that Aleister Crowley did: as a reference, not to one's egoic self, but to one's "Higher Self" - one's Atman or Holy Guardian Angel. This Higher Self's will is supposed to reflect, not just one's own good, but the good of all mankind. Interpretations, however, vary. Sadly, Crowley's actions didn't really sing of a life spent serving others.]

What's more, the Bodhisattva ideal - which is the implementation of bodhicitta, or loving-kindness, as one's life mission - struck me as an excellent conjunction of the truths of Goddess-worship and Enlightenment. A Bodhisattva refuses to quit the world until his or her mission of liberating all sentient beings from existence is achieved. Bodhisattvas don't retreat from the world; they engage it. While much of Buddhist tradition has a strong renunciate flavor, the Zen and Vajrayana traditions pointed the way to a Buddhism that combined natural pleasure with transcendent realization. And hadn't the Goddess said, by way of Doreen Valiente, that "All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals"? So long as an action is undertaken in a spirit of true giving and loving-kindness, it can be used as a step along the spiritual path.

The Bodhisattva ideal, in other words, pointed to way to teach oneself and others how to turn away from hedonism, not by escaping into asceticism, but by transmuting pleasurable experiences into transcendent ones. It's an idea that has a long and venerable history in the Jewish tradition, where believers are encouraged to "serve God by acknowledging that the fruits of this world are His gifts to us, and by willfully accepting and enjoying those gifts". It's an idea expounded in modern times throughout Ken Wilber's writings, and throughout the works of folks like David Deida.

So that's the short story of how I ended being a Pagan Buddhist operating in an Integral framework.

I used to think that this strange configuration made me "special" or unique. I guess it does, in a way - but if it does, it makes me special like everyone else. Scratch the surface of the "Buddhist" label that most folks adopt, and you'll find a complex net of belief that refuses to confine itself to Buddhadharma. This is hardly a new phenomenon: people have been stitching together immigrant theologies with their native belief structures since the advent of worldcentric religions. What's changed about it in modern times is that it's (1) more open and vocal, and (2) more aggressive. Changes to religious beliefs and structures which used to take generations now occur within a single person's lifetime.

I believe we're looking at a day and age where belief systems - and even "maps" like the wonderful ones created by Wilber and II - will not survive in the long run. As a species, man has grown humble. We realize that grand theories of "everything" are just that: temporary maps that are only as good as they are useful to us in a particular time and cultural context. We'll still have belief systems, but they will be dynamic, not static; they will survive as traditions, as thoughtstreams - not as rigid structures.

What will survive are individual ideas. As each of us experiments with the technologies and beliefs of different wisdom traditions, certain ideas will become prominent in an increasing number of individual belief-systems. I'm merely a single unit in this phenomenal multiprocessor, so my own conclusions are tenuous, but I suspect that many of us will end up on a path of enjoying the gifts of Divinity as we strive to awaken bodhicitta and ultimate awareness in ourselves and others.

We will all still have our own individual beliefs, our thoughts about who or what Divine presence fuels this cosmic charade. We will follow individual moral precepts - things we allow or forbid ourselves, duties we feel bound to perform by our faith. We will have our own unique rituals, prayers, and techniques for awakening the pure heart of compassion.

And we will each have a sword.

In Love and Honor

2006-04-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

I love, cherish, and honor those who bring me happiness:
They bring me buckets of sunshine.

I love, cherish, and honor those who bring me grief:
They remind me that my labor outpaces the sun.

I love, cherish, and honor those who are joyous:
They glow like distilled moonlight.

I love, cherish, and honor those who grieve:
They bring me hope for humanity.

I love, cherish, and honor those who praise me:
They give me momentum.

I love, cherish, and honor those who condemn me:
They give me pause.

I love, cherish, and honor those who are kind:
They trace the footfalls of our teachers.

I love, cherish, and honor those who are cruel:
They make learning a duty.

Stargirl

2006-04-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

If you want to awaken the heart of bodhicitta, read this book. It is a 21st-century manual of loving-kindness.

Bridge Hugging - or, Why Christian Men Won't Kiss God

2006-04-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

There's a great post over at Pagan scholar Chas Clifton's blog about Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow. I'll let Chas speak for himself:

But he is dead-on--and even humorous--when he identifies the reasons why most men avoid church: the indoor confinement, the lengthy yackety-yack sermonizing, and church language that places heterosexual men in an uncomfortable role:

I saw a new book for Christian men: Kissing the Face of God. An ad for the book invites men to "get close enough to reach up and kiss His face!" Time out--this is a men's book? Yikes! With the spotlight on homosexuality in the church, why do we increase [heterosexual] men's doubts by using the language of romance to describe the Christian walk?

And then there is "praise music." Here I could not agree with Murrow more: "Not only are the lyrics of many of these songs quite romantic, but they have the same breathless feel a Top Forty love songs."

Okay - I'll admit, both men have a point about the praise music. But the rest of it doesn't wash with me. It may be what is, but not, IMO, what ought to be.

I just watched the movie Iraq in Fragments at the Seattle Arab and Iranian Film Festival, and the image of two Kurdish Muslim male teens holding hands on the way to school is still fresh in my mind. No one would think they're gay. Heck, most Islamic countries are more violent in their oppression of GLBT folk than any Christian in the West left of Fred Phelps. Clear proof that you can give your best male friend a peck on the cheek without going all Will and Grace.

I don't know whether you can pin down Christianity as the cause, but it's clear that most male friendships in the West lack physical intimacy. Touch is one of the best ways to express friendship, solidarity, and love - and most men avoid it like the plague. We're so seized up with homophobia that most of us are afraid even to hug one another. I joked about this with my wife one night by pointing out to her the typical Western male "bridge hug": arms around the shoulders, with torsos leaning in so that groins are as far apart as physics will allow.

While this makes heterosexual male friendships shallow, it makes the lives of gay and bisexual men miserable. It's a type of subconscious programming that can take years to overcome. It's sad to see Murrow suggesting that Christian men not only embrace this homophobia, but form their personal religion around it.

Boys DO cry.

Goddammit.

*sniff*

"Laux, who prefers to use his Dharma name, Shirley,..."

2006-04-01T12:13:00.000-08:00

How awesome is Sujatin? Even in the midst of great personal tragedy, she manages to mine life's humor. Here's her pointer to a story about a group of Zen men who are paving the way for equality of the sexes in their sanghas...by dressing as women themselves.

These individuals, who call themselves the Order of Dudes in Drag (ODD), say this form of practice has existed for more than 1500 years, tracing their lineage back to the bodhisattva Kannon. Kannon, also called Avalokiteshvara, is sometimes depicted as a man and sometimes as a woman. But ODDs are quick to distinguish their practice from other forms of androgyny. One member clarified, “I’m not a transvestite. I’m a mu-sexual.”

Just ask Jon Laux. A member of the Zen Center for several years, Laux was quick to see the truth in Gross’s message. “We always wear robes, which are kind of girly anyway. But then all at once it hit me – BOOM! – I could complement the robe with some strappy sandals and a pink rakusu. Gorgeous. It was a total kensho moment.”

My favorite bit. I think this arrogance comes through, in more (ahem) subtler ways, in all of our practices.

Other members of ODD have difficulty working with the sartorial rigors of women’s fashion. Shirley explains: “Some of the guys have been trying to gain extra merit by tottering around on these stilettos. Well, the Buddha went through an ascetic phase too, and it didn’t do him any good, either.”

Aaaah. Zenfolk have an irreverent exhuberance for life that is like a breath of fresh air wafting its way through a charnal pit.

Imperfection

2006-04-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

Being a Buddhist is not about being perfect; it's about the willingness to challenge your imperfection.

Many teachers have taught this, in one form or another. But it really came home to me recently when reading this talk by Ven. Thubten Chodron on the Four Opponent Powers. (Link is to Google's HTML version; PDF version here.) Her talk addresses the purpose of purification, which is our way of addressing mental imbalances throughout the day. Instead of looking at our actions as right and wrong, she stresses seeing them in relation to whether they cloud or uncloud our mind. Instead of thinking, "Wow, look at what a dumbass I was today!",

[w]e can think, “This is an opportunity to learn something about what’s going on in my mind. This is an opportunity to stop for a minute and check up what’s happening and to get myself balanced again, because if I don’t get balanced, I’m going to get further and further out of whack.” You can see how this happens. Something happens in our life and we get a little bit angry, but we don’t take care of our anger. So then every situation we meet, we get angrier and angrier, because everybody starts appearing to us as if they’re harming us and bugging us. Or we get a little bit jealous but we don’t recognize it. We don’t take care of it. So then everybody starts appearing in a very competitive, threatening way to us. And then we start acting our jealousy out, and then other people get more and more apprehensive around us.

The key, in my mind, is not to use this as an excuse for bad behavior. If you are in the act of doing something you know contradicts your ethics and training and just shrug and say, "Well, I'm only human, what can I do?" - that doesn't cut it. That itself is an unskillful act, another kind of mental imbalance.

A key goal for me is to apply this rigorously to other people as well. When I see others acting out of anger or selfishness, I try to remind myself that they're "just like me". At various points in my life, I've been all of the things other people around me are: hostile, inflexible, dogmatic, frightened, petty, vindictive, arrogant, etc. When I'm not mindful, I still slip into these habits, in spite of my better intentions.

But even this isn't enough to keep me from judging others, or thinking myself as superior to them. It's because I'm still looking at their actions in terms of right and wrong, not in terms of skillful and unskillful. This isn't a mere terminological switch, mind you. When viewing other's actions as right and wrong, I'm judging their impact to me. When judging them as skillful and unskillful, I'm evaluating their impact to them. As Shantideva laid out eloquently in the Bodhicaryavatara, another person's anger is an opportunity for me to practice patience - but they're still mired in the suffering of a wild mind. Looked at this way, another person's anger "bad behavior" becomes a deep cause for sympathy and compassion within me, because it's doing nothing but buttressing that person's belief in their illusory "independent self".

I'm not sure if any of this is insightful to others. This all hit me in an "a-ha!" moment while reading Venerable's talk. "A-ha!" moments don't translate well verbally to others, and I'm sure they seem even more tepid and self-serving when reflected into the Buddhasphere. Hopefully someone, somewhere, will benefit from it, and from Ven. Chodron's wonderful teaching.

(For you Seattleites: Ven. Thubten Chodron will be giving a teaching at Sakya Monastery on April 28th at 7:30pm. Her talk is on Dependent Arising. Tickets go on sale to the general public starting April 17th. Based on what I've read of her teachings, this promises to be an excellent talk. Be there if you can!)

Can You Bend Spoons? Do You Care?

2006-03-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

Apparently, spoon-bending is becoming all the rage again. Impressive, if there's indeed no doctoring going on. But the procedure for "finding a bendable spoon" is a little too John Edwards-ish for my taste.

What's the point of all this? Apparently, it's about unlocking our innate human potential.

Slender and soft-spoken, Houck believes that once a person learns how to use mind over matter to bend spoons, then achieving other goals and doing important things in life become much easier.

"It's not about me being high-powered," he explains. "It's about me teaching people how to do this. The more exciting we make this event, the better it works. When I ask you to shout and jump up and down and scream, I mean it."

Spoon bending as personal improvement? This kind of thing seems to feed into Western egotism, which is the last thing humanity needs.

Why do you need theatrics to show how powerful the mind is? As Ven. Lama Pema Wangdak noted in a recent talk, Westerners have nearly perfected the science of caring for the body - but if someone says the wrong thing to us, it can ruin our day or our week. Some of us still obsess over the way people mistreated us (or even supposedly mistreated us) 10, 20, or 30 years ago. We let our happiness and clarity be torn asunder by the ebb and flow of our minds every waking minute of every day; the haunting even extends into our dreams. We continually fall under the delusion that there is a single, unified thing called the "self", and that the world of conceptualization is the world as it truly exists.

Isn't it more important for people to understand this power of the mind than to waste their time attempting to twist metal?

Worry About Number 1

2006-03-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

Focus, not on the rudenesses of others,
not on what they've done or left undone,
but on what you have & haven't done yourself.

- The Dhammapada, Verse 50 (tr. Thanissaro Bikkhu)

The Eternal Dance of Coffee and Water

2006-03-30T08:51:00.000-08:00

Confession time: Before I took refuge, I hit Google to see whether being a Buddhist was congruent with drinking coffee. I mean, not that I'm addicted to coffee or anything. I could give it up tomorrow (give or take seven days of detox). It's more that I prefer to keep coffee in my life. Um, yeah, that's the ticket.

Besides, I live in Seattle. If I forsake coffee, Starbucks could have me deported. (Remember when someone tried to tax lattes? We came this close to blood in the streets, folks.)

Which leaves me in a conundrum. I like coffee, and in many ways, it helps me engage in a spiritual life filled with a full-time job and four kids. But caffeine is also a diuretic. If I suck down cup after cup and ignore filling my body with important things - like, say, water - I end up hobbling through the final hours of the day like a beached whale.

So I've set a bargain with myself: for every one cup of coffee, I must drink at least three cups of water. I tried this yesterday, and it worked well. It staggered my coffee drinking, and left me feeling far more refreshed by the time 5pm rolled around.

Here's hoping this continues to work. If not, I'll have to give up java...and look for a house in Spokane.

Seattle Tragedy Claims Budding Bodhisattva

2006-03-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

The shootings in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood are a tragedy all around. But it's even mor heart-rending to read about 15-year-old Suzanne Thorne, and to contemplate what could have been.

Nancie Thorne says she must focus on the peace and love that surrounded her daughter, Suzanne, not the violent moments inside the Capitol Hill house where the 15-year-old died.

"Her role model was Gandhi," Thorne said. "When things got tough, Suzanne would ask, 'What would Gandhi do?'."

Suzanne was a girl of inquisitiveness and dreams — a teen who loved studying about eco-systems, nature, animals and insects. She was moved by the writings of the Dalai Lama, and she was a pacifist who hoped to start a non-violent movement to end terrorism, Thorne said.

"And stop terrorists, like the one who killed her," Thorne said. "We have to take responsibility and bring peace to this world. There is too much anger for our small world."

If you believe in rebirth (and there are days I have my doubts), you can console yourself with the knowledge that Suzanne's light will eventually return to the world. I hope so. Earth is a darker shade of gray this week its absence.

Antidotes to Puffery

2006-03-28T13:09:00.000-08:00

There are times when I feel like patting myself on the back for the great job I've done at something. Resisting this temptation is very, very hard for me. I love having my ego stroked. And if no one's stroking me? Well, I conclude, I have two hands and can stroke myself, thankyouverymuch.

Being silently proud that you've done good is, according to Deshung Rinpoche, a good thing, as it reinforces good habits within yourself. But there's a distinction between pride and puffery. For me, that line is so faded, it's as if no one had ever drawn it. For me, pride becomes puffery when I want other people to know what I've done. Too often, it doesn't feel like enough to know that I stuck to my ethical principles. I want to advertise just how ethical I am to anyone within earshot! I do and show things to people just for the express purpose of getting positive feedback. That's the unhealthful habit I'm attempting to break.

When I find myself engaging in puffery, I remind myself of the following:

Get distance. This sensation or need isn't "you" - it's a habit that's arising in your brain. It's where you're at now, but you need not identify with it. Remember Shantideva:

And when you want to fish for praise,
Or criticize and spoil another's name,
Or use harsh words, sparring for a fight,
It is then that like a log you should remain.
Even if you get the praise of others - what good will it do you? People are fickle; fame and fortune are transient.
Angling for fame does nothing but bring suffering to yourself and others. Think of how stressful you've made yourself in the past wondering how other people will judge you! Think of famous people who are made into miserable wrecks over whether their star is ascending or descending.
Even if you manage to keep fame and praise for all of your life, it will still do you no good when you die. Only your state of mind will accompany you...and your state of mind by that point will be nothing short of miserable.
The more you fish for praise, the more time you will spend thinking only of yourself, and the less time you will work to take the perspectives and needs of others into account.
If you take pride in people's praise, then you must take misery in their criticism. Identifying your self with one means identifying it with the other. You can never be happy if you're addicted to the cycle of praise and blame.
When you fail to get the praise you feel you richly deserve, you grouse about how you're underappreciated, and how others should be praising you. To think like this makes you bitter and hateful of others. In most cases, these others haven't even done anything wrong! It's not anyone's job to keep throwing logs on the fire of your need.

Do you battle puffery in your life? How do you defeat it?

"There is One Less Bodhisattva on the Earth Tonight"

2006-03-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

Per Sujatin, please pay your respects for Amrita, a Chaplain of the Order of Amida who has died in Zambia.

May she have a most fortunate rebirth and continue the Bodhisattva mission until all beings are free.

The Blogosphere as Teacher

2006-03-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

I came close to not starting this blog. After starting it, I came close several times to shutting it down.

I've blogged heavily before. I used to have my own blog that I operated for close to two years, posting anywhere from once to five times daily. I was also paid a healthy sum to contribute anywhere up to 10x/day for another blog. I know what it's like to get into the "flow" of blogging.

I also know what it's like for blogging to become a dangerous obsession. My full time job - the one that supports my family of kajillion, the one that provides our no-copay, 100% health insurance coverage - suffered badly at the height of my fever. I occasionally blogged for a good cause, but mostly to exercise my ego and show others how brilliant I was. While I met many wonderful people while blogging, I also met a couple who triggered my insecurity, my need to be stroked and loved. My involvement with them nearly destroyed my marriage and my life. (And it didn't do them any favors, either).

And yet...here I am. Again. Why?

I almost shut down all blogging out of concern of falling into the entire cycle again. But beyond that, it seemed...I don't know, impudent to discuss my thoughts on spirituality at my current
developmental state. While my spiritual learning is decent, my spiritual experience still feels shallow and immature.

And yet...here I am. Again.

Why?

The reason is a bit of intuitive irrationality that has haunted me for years. I met a wise woman shortly after we moved out to the Seattle area. During a Tarot reading, she said that she saw a new wave of great spiritual teachers arriving into our midsts in the very near future. And she saw me as one of those teachers.

Now, for all I know, she was saying this to everybody who shelled out 15 bucks. (Say hello to my "inner skeptic".) Still, what she said struck a chord in me. I've sensed intuitively for many years that I have something to offer in the spiritual realm. Even after carving through and setting aside the myriad forms of spiritual materialism that can foster such a delusion, I still feel this drive to communicate what I know - however little that may be - to the world.

We can all teach according to our capacity, just as we all learn according to our capacity. I have great capacities for learning and communication. It would be silly to keep these to myself. There is no need for myself or anyone else, after all, to be the "perfect" teacher, to be "The One" a la Neo. This wise woman's insight isn't a license to delude myself with visions of delivering blazing sermons in the summer rain to 100,000 head-shaven bhikkus. If I write just one sentence that ends up turning just one person's life around, leading them to a deeper purpose and meaning to their existence, then all my efforts to walk the bodhisattva's path will be justified.

And I believe blogging is the perfect medium for teaching in this manner. Blogging can be ego-driven and single-minded, sure. But as shown by the blog roundups at Blogmandu, it can also create a rich dialectic of insight. The one dissolves into the many. One person's insights aren't as important as the network of insights. In other words, we can all be teachers - from the most enlightened among us down to the rankest spiritual amateur. This is the social dimension of spirituality taken to a new, exhilarating level.

Perhaps that's what Coolmel - er, C4 is feeling in his recent "rush" of blogging. Let's hope for all of our sakes that it is. (And let's hope he manages to do something about the pits. There's nothing worse than a sweaty Bodhisattva.)

Introduction to Integral Theory and Practice

2006-03-26T11:29:00.000-08:00

The Integral movement seeks to unify all of human knowledge under a single theoretical model, providing a map that enables people to reach their full potential on all levels and lines of human development. From a spiritual standpoint, the Integral movement sees itself as supplementing a person's spiritual growth by focusing on knowledge areas and human technologies not found within his chosen tradition. In other words, Integral works with your native spiritual beliefs, not against them.

The Integral Institute has produced a document outlining the basics of the theory and how it's implemented in the real world. What I find most useful about this theory is the way it distinguishes between states and stages of consciousness. States can take the form of peak experiences: an insight during meditation, a glimpse of truth while walking through nature, the ecstatic union attained through spiritual dance or blissful orgasm during sex. But states are temporary: after you have a peak experience, it fades. It's only when you move to a new stage of consciousness that a higher mode of operation in daily experience becomes possible. It's the difference, in Buddhist lingo, between having a moment of heartbreak over the plight of all sentient beings, and establishing that constant heartache as the ground from which all your other actions stem.

But here's the kicker: repeated states of higher consciousness can open the door to achieving a higher stage. Money quote:

However, with repeated practice of contacting higher states, your own stages of
development will tend to unfold in a much faster and easier way. There is, in fact, considerable experimental evidence demonstrating exactly that. The more you are plunged into authentic higher states of consciousness—such as meditative states—then the faster you will grow and develop through any of the stages of consciousness. It is as if higher-states training acts as a lubricant on the spiral of development, helping you to disidentify with a lower stage so that the
next higher stage can emerge, until you can stably remain at higher levels of awareness on an ongoing basis, whereupon a passing state has become a permanent trait. These types of higher states training, such as meditation, are a part of any integral approach to transformation.

This is an accurate description of the role of Tantra in Vajrayana Buddhism. With practices such as Chenrezi and White Tara, you generate the image of yourself as the Deity - in effect, you become the Deity. This eliminates obscurations, and brings you more rapidly to an understanding of the nature of your ever-existing, clear-natured mind.

What does an Integral framework add to Vajrayana? First, it integrates all other fields of human knowledge and experience into the same model, without sacrificing or ignoring the great contributions that the West and other cultures have made to human knowledge. As the Integral paper points out, we have unprecedented access in our day and age to all of the cultures of the world. What a shame if any of the immense knowledge from all of these wonderful traditions is wasted!

Integral attempts to do more than just lump all of these theories together. In the paper's own words, it aims "to spot the patterns that actually connect all the pieces". Integral accomplishes this with the four quadrants approach, which unites all possible asppects of the self into a single model: I (personal experience), It (objective science), We (cultural development), and Its (social organization). Integral emphasizes always looking at every event from every perspective, so as not to get lost in one or the other.

Integral also adds a greater respect for a wide variety of state experiences, particularly as regards sex. The Tibetans are ultra-conservative about sex; HH The Dalai Lama has gone so far as to declare oral and anal sex as faux pas for Buddhists. Needless to say, these opinions don't set well with most Westerners, particularly those of us who are gay or bisexual. There are sexual Tantric practices, but most committed Vajrayana practitioners will recommend you stay the hell away from them. Integral theorists and practitioners like David Deida take a more open view. They recognize the variety of sexual experience, and the benefit of converting what many people regard as a mere physical activity into an ecstatic union of body, speech and mind.

Certainly it's a danger to become attached to physical pleasure, and forget one's spiritual goals. I've fallen into that trap throughout most of my adult life, and am very cautious about getting snared again. But it's a waste to discard the spiritual potential in sex and similar state experiences, simply because they don't square with the medieval mores of your religion's source culture.

The Integral model also explains why some cultures can develop wonderfully in some areas, but show limited development in others. Tibet had a wonderful spiritual system for personal growth and realization; in other words, it ruled the First Quadrant, the I. But it fell on its face in the Second, Third, and Fourth Quadrants, lagging behind the West in scientific, cultural, and socio-political development.

There's much more to Integral theory than this. I hope to explore more within these pages in the coming weeks.

Abdul Rahman: Still in Danger from The Taliban Mentality

2006-03-26T10:24:00.000-08:00

Reports are that Abdul Rahman will be released soon as prosecutors "gather more evidence" against him. Since the man is clearly Christian, it's obviously a ploy by the Afghan government to get him out of jail and either:

Release him in Afghanistan - which would be as good as carrying out the death sentence; or
Exile him from his country.

Bush administration officials are labeling Afghanistan a "fledging democracy". Sorry, but no. This is the behavior of a dictatorship. Afghanistan is proving itself no better as a country than the regime that came before it.

This is why forcefully deposing a government - even one as detrimental to human health and happiness as the Taliban - doesn't work. You can take the Taliban out of power, but you can't remove the Taliban mentality from the hearts and minds of Afghanis. That's a spiritual change that must happen within the country itself. And no amount of firepower will affect it.

The Seattle Shootings

2006-03-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

As it turns out, we know the young woman who put on the rave, "Better Off Undead", that was held the night before the shootings here in Seattle. Thankfully, she and her husband are safe. Sadly, six members of the rave community are not so fortunate. From NWTekno.org by way of The Stranger:

RIP
Deacon
Sushi
Nameless *dude ith the long hair always at the spot* aka patches
Jeremy Chickenhed
Jesus
and another 15 year old girl confirmed dead. im assuming its the girl that was with sushi

Young souls taken too soon. May they all rest in peace, and experience nothing but peace and bliss.

But What About OUR Plans??

2006-03-25T09:38:00.000-08:00

I read this story this morning about a tragic shooting at a Seattle home, which has left six dead. The neighborhood, Capitol Hill, sports a popular eating and shopping strip; my wife and I were planning to chill there today while my mom watched the kids.

My first thought on reading this? "Well, that sure fucks up our plans."

It didn't occur to me until a few minutes later that the six unfortunate folks in that house weren't having a blockbuster day themselves.

Me, Minus the Bullshit

2006-03-24T18:06:00.000-08:00

I've had a tendency when embarking on a given spiritual path to put on an act - to "act spiritual", as it were. Talk kindly to everybody. Smile all of the time. Avoid all the fucking swearing. Have sex, sure - but for God sakes, don't enjoy it!

I've seen this enough in other people to know it's not my own personal foible. I fall into this trap for a couple of reasons. Mainly, I have a tendency to want other people to accept me as a "good person". I engage in what Trungpa Rinpoche labeled "spiritual materialism", and what Ken Wilber calls "Boomeritis". I embrace spirituality for what it will win me in the material world, not as an end in itself.

I check this tendency nowadays using two techniques. First, I meditate on impermanence, particularly the fleeting nature of fame and fortune. As Shintideva says in the Bodhicaryavatara, only your state of mind will help you when you die; the number of "followers" you've accrued, the number of books you've published and sold - none of this worldly success will mean anything when Mara comes a-knockin'.

That doesn't mean that doing well in the world and contributing to civilization isn't important, on one level. And it certainly doesn't mean that the love of friends and family aren't important! I love my wife and children to death. But you can't take it with you. Engagement of the world shouldn't obscure the fact that our tenure of this earth doesn't even amount to a fraction of beginningless time.

My second technique is to avoid the temptation to obtain "instant spirituality" by rewriting my personality. Emulating the virtues of the Buddha and the great Bodhisattvas doesn't mean putting on a show, and being other than who I am. The teachings are water; the mind is a vessel. Vessels can be of many different shapes, sizes, and colors - but all can hold liquid, so long as they aren't punctured or overturned. That's why the Buddha disseminated 84,000 discourses of Dharma.

Rather than act, I'm trying simply to be me - but better. No...not "better". This isn't a race or any other kind of striving. I guess what I'm doing is practicing just being, free of the clouds of confusion. I watch my anger. I don't snap when someone interrupts me when I'm doing something "important". I don't evolve self-important stories about how the world is mistreating me when someone's behavior rubs me raw. Me, minus the bullshit.

Hey, it's a start.

Secular Spirituality

2006-03-24T17:21:00.000-08:00

The Buddhist Blog has the low-down on an ABC interview with The Dalai Lama, in which His Holiness talked more of his idea about "secular spirituality". In short, he takes the techniques and technology of Buddhism and advocating that anyone adopt them, regardless of their religion.

I love this approach. I don't think it's much different than what the brains behind the Integral Institute are attempting to do: bring together people of a myriad of spiritual faiths, and supplement their spiritual work with growth programs in other areas. The idea is to produce fully rounded, complete individuals - i.e., fulfill the full human potential. Both are great attempts to integrate Buddhist technology into the West. Let's hope they flourish.

(Oh, and the photo on that post is hee-LARIOUS.)

What Faith Is

2006-03-23T13:26:00.000-08:00

"The only faith in Buddhism is to practice and to see if it is true."

- Sam Bercholz, speaking at an Integral Naked shindig (subscription required)

Patrul Rinpoche: Advice from Me to Myself

2006-03-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

This is priceless. My favorite part:

Listening to the teachings—you've already heard hundreds of teachings,
But when you haven't grasped the meaning of even one teaching,
What's the point of more listening?

And:

When those yogic positions and gazes keep your mind stable
Only by keeping mind tethered—
Forget about them!

Giving high-sounding lectures
Doesn't do your mind-stream any good.
The path of analytical reasoning is precise and acute—
But it's just more delusion, good for nothing goat-shit.
The oral instructions are very profound
But not if you don't put them into practice.

I wonder how much of an influence this man's work was on Trungpa Rinpoche, who had a similar knack for cutting through all the ways the mind can delude itself into believe that it's advancing.

There's also a passage which confirms what I suspect Dharma teachers must tell themselves about their students. I imagine for teachers in the West, where we tend to "Dharma-shop" like there was a blue-light special on Enlightenment, this has to be something of a mantra:

Those elegant dharma disciples—
Forget about them!

This year, he really cares about you,
Next year, it's not like that.
At first, he seems modest,
Then he grows exalted and pompous.
The more you nurture and cherish him,
The more distant he grows.

Tolerance Watch: Afghanistan Set to Execute Man for Being a Christian

2006-03-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

One step forward, ten steps back:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- In the days of the Taliban, those promoting Christianity in Afghanistan could be arrested and those converting from Islam could be tortured and publicly executed.

That was supposed to change after U.S.-led forces ousted the oppressive, fundamentalist regime, but the case of 41-year-old Abdul Rahman has many Western nations wondering if Afghanistan is regressing.

Rahman, a father of two, was arrested and is on trial for rejecting Islam. The Afghan constitution, which is based on Sharia, or Islamic law, says that apostates can receive the death penalty. [Emphasis mine]

"They want to sentence me to death, and I accept it," Rahman told reporters last week, "but I am not a deserter and not an infidel."

He had been arrested after telling local police, whom he approached on an unrelated matter, that he had converted to Christianity. Reports say he was carrying a Bible at the time.

The Afghani government's compromise plan? Have him declared "mentally unfit", so that the case can be tossed. This would spare Afghanistan from being even more reviled than the Talbian was when they shelled the Buddhas of Bamiyan. It would also, effectively, declare Christianity a mental illness in Afghanistan.

I used to grind a handful of axes against certain denominations of Christians, particularly evangelicals and the religious right. And, in so far as someone attempts to use their religion to suppress the religious sentiments of others, I'll oppose that. But I have a deep and abiding respect for most Christians, both in this country and abroad. I know some Christians who use their faith as a veil for hate, sure - but that happens in every religion, and Buddhism is no exception. Most Christians I know are peaceful, moral people, suffused with the love of Christ.

Currently, outside of the United States, Christianity is one of the world's most oppressed faiths, particularly in Islamic countries. This is more sad evidence of that. That Abdul Rahman would be put to death in this day and age merely for his beliefs is shameful.

The Bamiyan Buddhas, while holy relics, were mere statues. This is a sentient being who has committed no crime. The Buddha does not live in a statue; he lives in this man. Please email the Aghanistan Embassy and speak your mind in a peaceful manner.

Humor Break

2006-03-21T08:38:00.000-08:00

Sick of ahimsa? Maybe you should be a ninja. That's where the real ultimate power lies.

The Dharma Marathon

2006-03-20T18:17:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I launched into Ngondro, a.k.a. the Preliminary Practices. I'm studying within the Sakya lineage, so I'm using the book compiled by HE Deshung Rinpoche and edited by my root guru, HH Jigdal Dagchen Rinpoche. After several months of work, I've managed to work about 1 to 2 hours of practice in every day, so I can make decent progress over time; I also plan to take several retreats throughout the year, of several days at a stretch, in order to get in some intensive practice.

The folks at my monastery have been wonderful assistance in my practice, up to and including Rinpoche. Rinpoche advised it was best to memorize the practices, so I've been working on memorizing the individual practices, as well as the lovely Dedication of Merit in the book that is a complete litany of the various stages of the path according to the Sakya tradition.

For me, the largest stumbling block so far has been shedding the view that this is some kind of race, like I'm running the Dharma marathon. When I began doing the refuge prayer, for example, I would rattle it off like an Arhat on X ("Wetakerefugeinthevenerableholygurustakerefugeinthe..."). I would also find myself speeding up the count as I reached the guru knot of my mala, like a runner who caught the finish line in his sites. I've been working to slow this down by telling myself that I am in the presence of the Guru and many other holy beings when I perform the ritual.

Just as I wouldn't ask my lama to "speed it up a bit", I shouldn't rush through any element of Ngondro just in order to finish it. The point of Ngondro is not to reach 100,000 executions of each exercise per se, but to develop single-pointedness of mind, and strengthen the resolve for liberation.

At least I have something to keep me busy for the next several years. It sure beats the hell out of how I was spending my time before now.

I bow down before my root guru, who is my most excellent ally in my struggle to liberate all sentient beings!

Let Others Find Their Path

2006-03-15T12:46:00.000-08:00

For a long time, I considered myself a practicing Pagan with a bent toward enlightenment. I studied Hindu philosophy and mysticism, but reworked them into a Goddess-centric context. I had studied Buddhism on and off, and stole from it as I thought warranted. I had attended my monastery years ago, but never made a commitment to attending regularly. For me, Buddhism was stuffy, restrictive. It was too harsh on samsara. Not all of the world, I thought, was impure; you could indulge in the good, sensual things that this life had to offer and still be a spiritual person. After all, didn't the Goddess say that "all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals"?

Last year, my life took a dark turn. My pursuit of pleasure , fueled by psychological baggage from my past, spun out of control. I had forsaken my religious practice and abandoned myself to drinking, taking drugs, and engaging in sexual misconduct. After one particularly shameful act, I went on a 48-hour Ecstasy binge, using the uninhibited high of MDMA to stay up for three days straight cruising the dark holes of the Internet.

Shortly after Thanksgiving, everything blew up in my face. My marriage was nearly destroyed.
Blessedly, my wife and I recognized that there was something greater going on in our lives. There were issues and problems within both of us that we both had refused to address. Ignoring those issues were what led to our mutual meltdown. It was at that point that I remembered the monastery, and remembered everything I had read about Buddhism. It was like a thousand karmic seeds ripening simultaneously. I found myself thinking, with a certainty beyond words, "I have to go to the monastery. I have to take up a Buddhist practice. Buddhism is what I need in my life right now."

My path to Buddhism was long, arduous, and highly specific to my own soul's journey. Where I am now feels like where I needed to be; I had to exhaust my fascination with samsara, however, before I was willing to accept that. Everybody else has a similar spiritual journey that is very unique to their own lives and mindstreams.

I've been very dogmatic in my beliefs up until the present day. I've bought into thought systems that believed they were the One True Path, and that it was my duty to spread the Word. I realize now that this was nothing but my own ego, clamoring to be right. It's not my place to say what someone should believe, as that's intimately connected to their journey. All I can do is lend a helping hand or some soothing words of advice when someone else is in pain, and asks for my help.

This is my goal as a bodhisattva: not to make others into what I want them to be, but to be what others need.

As long as diseases afflict living beings
May I be the doctor, the medicine
And also the nurse
Who restores them to health.

May I fall as rain to increase
The harvests that must feed living beings
And in ages of dire famine
May I myself serve as food and drink.

May I be an unending treasury
For those desperate and forlorn.
May I manifest as what they require
And wish to have near them. (Shantideva, Bodhicaryavatara, Chapter 3)

May we all come to enlightenment here and now!

Support the Anti-Islamist Manifesto

2006-03-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

Andrew Sullivan has information on how you can support people who are taking a stand against violence in favor of religious tolerance.

These people face a credible threat to their lives for standing up in the name of freedom. Please let them know that we stand behind them. And let those making the threats know that, while we love them, we implore them to abandon intolerance and embrace peace.

A Story of Deshung Rinpoche

2006-03-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

This is a great article about how one family has raised its children in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. More than that, however, it is a tender remembrance of the Sakya master Deshung Rinpoche, who served as guru to James and Michal Sarzotti.

It was a hot, humid day in New York, and the many windows were open to let the occasional breeze waft through. But rather than letting in a cool breeze, the open windows invited in a multitude of insects. One particularly obnoxious fly landed on our donuts and dive-bombed our eyes. I could not help thinking mean thoughts about this pesky being. After numerous attempts to brush it away from our breakfast, I looked up to see this bug walking along the rim of Rinpoche’s teacup, and before I knew it, he had fallen in and drowned. I was horrified that Rinpoche’s tea had been ruined. Rinpoche was horrified, too, but not for the same reason. He scooped up that fly from his hot tea and held him in the palm of his hand. He held that fly as if it were his most precious child. He leaned over the fly’s wet little body and said prayers. He smoothed the rumpled little wings and whispered to him. That nameless bug then became for me a tiny being receiving his bardo instructions and all of Rinpoche’s overwhelming love and compassion. I have never seen anyone treat even another person with such tenderness.

I'm still digesting Deshung Rinpoche's The Three Levels of Spiritual Perception, which is an astounding work. It not only captures Tibetan Buddhist principles to a T, but it is eminently practical and thorough. Nearly every chapter contains meditation instructions. When I do daily Ngondro practice, I use a book authored by Deshung Rinpoche and edited by my own beloved lama, HH Jigdal Dagchen Sakya. I can only image what a privilege it must have been to study with Deshung Rinpoche, and learn from him in such close quarters.

Selflessness at the Olympics (No, Seriously)

2006-03-11T12:59:00.000-08:00

When Canadian skier Sara Renner's pole broke during a medal competition, she found an unlikely savior:

Some observers have taken to referring to the Turin Games as the Me Olympics, and it’s hard to argue.

An American snowboarder lost a gold medal because she felt the need to showboat at the end.

An U.S. speedskater declined to congratulate a teammate for finishing first.

After one of Bode Miller’s many failures in the mountains, he said, "At least now I don’t have to go all the way to Turin" for the medals ceremony. Yeah, that would have been a pain.

Into this occasional mess stepped Bjoernar Hakensmoen, 36. He is Renner’s mystery man and the unsung hero of these games.

"I saw a girl in trouble," he said.

So he handed her a pole. Perfectly natural, the human thing to do. Except, there’s this: Hakensmoen is the coach of the Norwegian team.

Norwegians are crazy about cross-country skiing. It’s their national sport, and Norway had a team in the race.

The Canadians went on to win the silver medal. The Norwegians finished fourth, nine seconds out of third place.

The best part: Norwegians aren't pissed, and Canadians are compassion-bombing the Embassy with thank-yous. Money quote from the coach:

"If you win, but don’t help somebody when you should have, what kind of win is that?" he said.

Good question: what, indeed? What do all of the medals in the world amount to if you're still driven by desire, the wonderful clarity of your mind eclipsed by self-absorption?

Thanks for the inspiration, Mr. Hakensmoen.

(Thanks to infinisri of the KenWilber list for the pointer)

More on Tom Fox

2006-03-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

From Christian Peacemaker.

We renew our plea for the safe release of Harmeet Sooden, Jim Loney and Norman Kember. Each of our teammates has responded to Jesus’ prophetic call to live out a nonviolent alternative to the cycle of violence and revenge.
In response to Tom’s passing, we ask that everyone set aside inclinations to vilify or demonize others, no matter what they have done. In Tom’s own words: "We reject violence to punish anyone. We ask that there be no retaliation on relatives or property. We forgive those who consider us their enemies. We hope that in loving both friends and enemies and by intervening nonviolently to aid those who are systematically oppressed, we can contribute in some small way to transforming this volatile situation.”

This message is as essential to Christianity as it is to Buddhism.

You have heard that is was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44)

Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings:
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will. (Metta Sutra)

35. People hurt themselves with thorns and the like out of negligence, with fasting and so on out of anger, and by desiring to obtain inaccessible women and so forth.

36. Some kill themselves by hanging, by jumping from cliffs, by eating poison or unwholesome substances, and by non-virtuous conduct.

37. When under the influence of mental afflictions, they kill even their own dear selves in this way; then how could they have restraint toward the bodies of others?

38. If you do not even have compassion toward those who, intoxicated by mental afflictions, commit suicide, then why does anger arise?

39. If inflicting harm on others is the nature of the foolish, then my anger toward them is as inappropriate as it would be toward fire, which has the nature of burning. (Shantideva, Bodhicaryavatara, Chapter 6)

I pray that all sentient beings find the courage and fortitude to live by those words!

In Honor of Tom Fox

2006-03-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

American Christian peace activist Tom Fox, kidnapped last year in Iraq, has been found dead. He leaves behind a legacy that should bring everybody to tears.

Christian Peacemaker co-directors Doug Pritchard and Carol Rose said in a statement, "In response to Tom's passing, we ask that everyone set aside inclinations to vilify or demonize others, no matter what they have done."
"This guy was not after martyrdom by any means," said Paul Slattery of McLean, Va., who was a member of Fox's U.S.-based support team. "He actually believed in his heart that he would better them by his conviction and his beliefs and his skills, and I think largely succeeded.

"What he leaves behind is a tremendous challenge for the rest of us and a guiding force."

May we all emulate Tom Fox's supreme example. May he and all sentient beings find peace and ultimate joy.

Firefighting

2006-03-10T18:11:00.000-08:00

There are days when it feels like practicing Buddhism and adhering to the precepts is like learning to write with my left hand after 32 years of using my right. My mind is so entrenched in selfish habits. I find self-cherishing thoughts and fantasies cropping up at every turn.

In the software world, when you spend all day on your job addressing minor and major emergencies, it's called "firefighting". Ever since I started Ngondro practice this week (coincidence???), I've felt let I've been putting out blazes in my mind at every turn.

I try and tell myself that this is only because I'm getting better at noticing my selfishness, and am becoming less tolerant of indulging in behavior that doesn't benefit others.

That gets me through the day.

Kisagotami's Grief

2006-03-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

A tale of how the Buddha taught a grieving mother to handle her loss.

Urgency

2006-03-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

To my most excellent root guru and the precious Triple Gems, I offer homage and prayers. Bless me that my mind turns toward the Dharma. Bless me to accept the excellent Dharma as my path. Bless me that confusion on the path be calmed. Bless me that perfect meditative concentration arise. Bless me that non-religious thoughts cease. Bless me that love and compassion arise. Bless me to perfect both aspects of bodhichitta. Bless me to quickly attain omniscience.

The latest issue of Shambhala Sun had an article by Sakyang Miphan Rinpoche in which he referred to a Buddhist nun who alternated between laughing and crying. She laughed because enlightenment was so close to our understanding. She cried because, for so many people, it was so far away.

I feel like crying sometimes. I can sense that the truth - the true way of seeing - is skimming just below the surface of my regular vision. And yet I still get stuck. This crying isn't self-pity or self-loathing. It's an urgent, burning desire that the veil be lifted and the true nature of existence be revealed.

May I and all sentient beings find ultimate, unshakeable happiness in the unborn, unceasing clarity of mind.

Compassion and Rhetoric

2006-03-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

Both his weapon and my body are causes of suffering. He has obtained a weapon, and I have obtained a body. With what should I be angry? (Bodhicaryavatara, 6.43)

Drop in on any discussion list or online forum related to Buddhism, and you're bound to see a LOT of bickering. Someone says something that sets someone else off, and immediately the accusations fly that said person is a "bad Buddhist", "lacks compassion", etc. Then the debate spirals from something substantive down into a meta-discussion about who's the "best Buddhist".

Doesn't this all miss the point by a mile? Someone who "attacks" me may think they're using skillful means. I may disagree, and feel that he's being an asshole. But the moment I respond to that person with accusations about their character or their lack of respect for Buddhist principles, I'm perpetuating the cycle of anger and discord. I'm bringing discord to the sangha as much as he is.

"He started it!" is not a valid defense for abandoning my own detachment and equanimity. It not only traps me in samsara, it encourages the other person to continue waltzing down that road. It's a curious affair: when we lambaste someone for not being sufficiently compassionate, we're not being compassionate towards them!

If someone else is angry with me, it is not their fault; it is because they, like me, are deluded, and afflicted by passions that are dependent on other causes. As Shantideva said:

If inflicting harm on others is the nature of the foolish, then my anger toward them is as inappropriate as it would be toward fire, which has the nature of burning. (Bodhicaryavatara, 6.39)

Our anger, our hurt feelings - these are not "us". There is no independently existing "I". How swiftly we all forget this the moment someone finds one of our buttons and presses it as hard as he can!

I pray that illusory existences arise as the ultimately real. May we all come to realize that ALL sentient beings are our teachers on the path.

Especially the ones who piss us off.

(More Shantideva here)

Samsara

2006-03-02T17:11:00.000-08:00

That life refuses to live up to my expectations is not samsara.

My expectations ARE samsara.

Zhine in Action

2006-03-02T14:21:00.000-08:00

One major area of improvement for me is attentiveness outside of meditative sessions. In terms of zhine (shamatha) meditation, I seem to be at the second of the nine mental abidings identified by the Lord Maitreya, in which you are able to lengthen your meditation on the object of observation. I seem to be teetering on the third, as I can usually bring my mind back to the object of observation. In other words, after my mind has wandered, a "jolt" of awareness tells me that I've lost the object, and I'm able to bring my mind back to my breath.

I feel like I fair much worse off of the cushion, however. I tend to drop tasks right in the middle of them, and then only realize minutes later that I left something unfinished. I can be making coffee, get distracted by email - then only realize a minute later that there are no aromas of caffeinated goodness filling the air.

Needless to say, this has a huge practical downside. I've always struggled with focus problems in my work. I tend to bounce like a ping-pong ball stuffed with jumping beans from one task to the next, leaving a string of unfinished projects in my wake. I have a better handle on this now than I have for the past 10 years of my career, but I can't lie to myself and say I'm anywhere close to perfect yet.

How do I end this suffering? The only way I can see is to give my daily life the same attentiveness and hard work I give to zhine.

And given that I just left this post for 10 minutes to go dick around in another Firefox tab, I do mean HARD work.

Pink Takes on Vanity

2006-02-28T10:03:00.000-08:00

Pink's new song, "Stupid Girls", is an assault on the commercial vanity of our culture that places appearance above substance. In an interview with MTV, she discusses why she wrote the song and why she can't truck with America's national pasttime of getting drunk on mindlessness:

People are going to think, "You're supposed to be a feminist, you're supposed to be supporting women," but I just can't support that, what the majority of these women are doing — or not doing, more like. It's just this mindless consumer culture, and it's such a wasted opportunity. Every time I see myself lying on that hospital gurney [in that video] I sort of wince. It's a $150 billion cosmetic industry, and what does that say about how we feel about ourselves? It's sort of pushing this image — shop, drink, party, don't think, shop, don't think. I just can't do that.

You go, girl.

Hearing It vs. "Getting" It

2006-02-28T08:33:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many times I've recited a prayer about achieving enlightenment on the behalf of all sentient beings. And yet, there's been something selfish and self-centered about my spiritual practices. I could sense that they were being motivated by a desparate desire to "save" my own skin. But I didn't know how to unseat this desire.

Then one day last week, I was reading Deshung Rinpoche, who was talking about Mahayana and how compassion for all sentient beings should motivate our practice. And it dawned on me: "Wait...when I'm sitting, I'm supposed to be sitting for all sentient beings. When I recite mantras, I'm reciting them for all sentient beings. When I practice Chenrezi or White Tara, I'm practicing for all sentient beings!" I knew all of this - intellectually. But it wasn't until that moment that it became an emotional and psychological truth for me.

This is why lamas and teachers often repeat the same instructions over and over. They're waiting for that beautiful, ineffable, unpredictable moment when everything lines up just right in our psyche, and we "get" it in a single flash of insight. This is why paying attention to our teachers is critical, even when we believe we've heard it all before.

Free Book on Lamdre

2006-02-27T13:51:00.000-08:00

I haven't read this all the way through yet, but it looks great on a quick scan. Lamdre - a.k.a. "the path including its result" - is the key meditational system of the Sakya lineage of Tibetan Buddhism, and is also discussed in-depth in Deshung Rinpoche's Three Levels of Spiritual Perception.

The Patience of Teaching

2006-02-26T19:11:00.000-08:00

One thing I've found myself working hard on lately is my mental tendency to want to "fix" others whom I see as participating in deluded or ignorant behavior, such as becoming impatient over trifling matters or speaking behind someone else's back. Isn't this an error in which the vast majority of us participate? We see the efficacy of an idea, and we want to inject it into other people's lives - often using the grossest and most inelegant means available to us.

Of course, we don't ever ending up helping anybody like this. Usually, we just piss off all of our friends and relations, while feeding our ego-delusions about how "good" and "spiritual" we're being.

Jesus' words about living in glass houses, and about not seeing the log of wood in one's own eye, go a long way here. If I'm fixated on the behavior of others, I'm obviously not tending to my own mental state.

Beyond that, I'm also viewing this tendency as a form of impatience. Someone on E-Sangha wrote recently about how his wife slowly started practicing Buddhadharma after noticing over a period of months how relaxed and calm he had become. And isn't that the way to do it?? This way, we're not only being compassionate toward others, we're also preserving our practice of the paramita of patience. If I keep deluding myself into believing I can change the world overnight, I'm not going to accomplish anything outside of turning myself into a bitter ex-Buddhist.

One of my family signs all of his messages with a quote from St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." I doubt St. Francis ever foresaw a Western Tibetan Buddhist putting these words into the service of the Dharma, but I can't imagine he'd be terribly displeased either.

Integral Buddhism with Ken Wilber and Lama Surya Das

2006-02-25T16:13:00.000-08:00

Here's a great talk between Integral Spirituality deep thinker Ken Wilber and Dzogchen master Lama Surya Das on Integral Buddhism. (Integral Naked membeship required; it'll run you $10 for a month's access.)

One of the best ideas put forward by the two is that spiritual development is only one kind of human development. Reaching the apex of spiritual realization doesn't mean you've wiped out all of the personal problems that might plague you in other areas of your life. (Indeed, some highly realized people are, as one of my friends noted, "real space cadets" when it comes to their daily routine.) Surya Das puts it best when he refers to the view of spiritual realization as total perfection as an "ascending" view. "It's the idea of 'Heaven'," he says, "as opposed to 'Heaven on Earth'."

Seattle Shia and Sunni Pray Together for Peace in Iraq

2006-02-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

Pray with them.

Be Still

2006-02-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was rushing around to help get my wife out the door. She had a huge interview she was conducting that day (she's a writer by trade). Understandably, she was concerned about nailing it.

Everything was going smoothly until we were packing up the car, and things got heated. She was getting nervous, and when she gets nervous, her tolerance for mistakes goes south. Things came to a head over a silly dispute over where the car keys had gone. She left without either of us saying, "I love you."

I told myself I had forgotten about it, but that I needed to talk to her about the incident once she got home. I mean, come on - it's only for her own good that I let her know how badly she fucked up, right? When she came home that night and got upset because I hadn't done something she requested a few hours earlier, I took this as my cue to complain about how I was being treated "as your assistant, and not as your husband."

"Have you been holding on to this all day?" she asked.

"Of course not!" I scoffed. But internally, I had heard my mind yell, "Of COURSE I have! I demand an apology, dammit!"

And that's when I knew I had been hooked.

Trungpa Rinpoche talked often about how wiley the ego is. It's skilled at reverse alchemy. In an instant, it can transmute our most golden spiritual intentions into base metal. It doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong over the silly dispute about the keys. What matters is that, by getting hooked, I became a participant in the situation spiraling out of control. By hunkering down in my ego and defending my sense of self, rather than shrugging off her blunt tone and her impatience, I helped perpetuate her nervousness.

What would have been the compassionate approach? To ask myself, "Why is she feeling this way? Is there anything I can do to relieve that feeling? Or should I just remain even-minded, and be the most help I can be at this moment?" The situation didn't necessarily demand that I call her on anything; in fact, that would have been nothing but more ego-dancing. ("Look at how spiritual I'm being!") The situation called for me to be still.

I'm learning (slowly) not be beat myself up over such failures. Instead, I try and flip them around and use them to inculcate compassion. If it's hard for me, with my dedication to Buddhism, to overcome ego, I can only imagine how hard it is for others!

Can You Die While Doing This?

2006-02-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm blown away by the transforming power of Deshung Rinpoche's The Three Levels of Spiritual Perception. In particular, the following passage is proving very powerful in my own practice:

We should keep a constant check upon actions [which include our thoughts - JD]. That is to say, we should be able to ask ourselves at any given moment:

If I were to die today, would this action I'm engaged in be really worthwhile? Would it be karmically beneficial? Is it really an action that I can afford to die while doing? Can I afford to leave this world on this particular note? Is it really that useful, that helpful, or even good for myself and others? Does this type of activity incline me toward more virtuous action? Whether I am still alive tomorrow or whether I'm dead, does it incline me in a virtuous direction, or otherwise?

(pp. 186-7)

The Meaning of Samaya

2006-02-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

Samaya means "commitments". This wonderful article by HH Kunzig Shamarpa Rinpoche explains the 14 ways in which samaya can be broken.

What I love about these recommendations is that they don't relieve the practitioner of using reasoning and spiritual insight to determine what is the best course of action in a situation. For example, I think that most of the attacks on evangelical Christianity these days fall under the category of "Abusing Other Traditions with the Motivation of Gaining More Respect for Oneself." I don't think the same way, however, about radical Islam, which has as one of its goals the violent destruction of practitioners of other paths.

As with all actions on the Mahayana and Vajrayana paths, the right course of action in all situations is the action that would benefit ALL sentient beings. It's a teleological ethic, not a deontological one.

I also liked the point about using forceful means when necessary. I can count a number of times recently when I've shied away from forceful means because I wanted to remain "spiritual" and "peaceful". In reality, I was using my spirituality as a front for my own fear.

The Womb: Heaven or Hell?

2006-02-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

It's interesting, the different perspectives that different teachers bring to different subjects. I had just finished reading Deshung Rinpoche III's description of life in the womb from his book, The Three Levels of Spiritual Perception. Suffice it to say that Rinpoche doesn't view the womb as any place to spend a Saturday night: the womb is a dark, restricted place into which the budding consciousness is crammed; it is subject to the motions and whims of its mother; at birth, it is drawn forcibly into the world, literally kicking and screaming all the way.

Then I read this month's issue of Shambhala Sun, which focuses on the Venerable teacher Thicht Naht Hahn. Thay lays out a guided meditation that involves seeing the womb as a comforting place, where you were loved and cared for. He uses the umbilical cord as a metaphor for seeing the spiritual umbilical cords you have to all other people and all other phenomena in the world.

And I asked myself: Which one of these teachers is right?

Then it occurred to me: Isn't the point of Buddhism that neither of these teachers is wrong?

The Five Faults of the Kleshas

2006-01-31T19:30:00.000-08:00

(Summarized from No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to The Way of the Bodhisattva by Pema Chödrön)

They enslave us. We think it's "I" who is acting, when in actuality we're being held by the throat by our kleshas. We're not in control.
We welcome them. They're familiar. Indulging in hatred, lust, etc. give us a temporary relief, make us feel good and important.
They last. Even after the object of our hatred dissipates, the habit of hatred remains.
They grow when we feed them. "More is never enough". Give in to the kleshas thinking that they're going to go away once you satisfy them, and you find that they only come back demanding more attention.
They prevent peace. There can never be world peace so long as we are all enslaved by our kleshas. We will always find ourselves pitting our emotions against one another.

Overcoming Sexual Misconduct

2006-01-31T14:27:00.000-08:00

There's a great thread about this on the E-Sangha message boards. The first poster in his confession covered a lot of good ground, including using the four powers of confession to cleanse his misconduct, abandoning porn, and meditating on the empty nature of the self and the transient nature of existence (i.e., you're just renting your body).

Something else that helps me is to reflect on the principle of equality. If a woman I consider attractive passes me and I pay extra attention to her body, I'm doing several disservices to others. First, I'm reducing that woman to her body. If she sees herself as more than her body, then I'm alienating her and making her feel like an object. If she gains satisfaction from seeing others who think she's attractive, I'm perpetuating her identification with her body - which is a major obstacle to enlightenment. Creating obstacles to enlightenment for others runs contrary to the way of the Bodhisattva.

Second, I'm doing a disservice to all other women by saying they're not good enough to deserve such extra attention. In other words, I'm violating the Fourth Immeasurable of equanimity.

We are all in the same ship. None of us deserves to be treated better or worse than any other. All desire happiness; all deserve to receive compassion, and to drink of enlightenment.

Where Materialism Leads

2006-01-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

A good story that shows how attachment to material goods can lead one down a dark road.

Bear in mind that I'm not trying to pick on Wal-Mart vice chairman Tom Coughlin. I'm not saying I'm any better than he is - that I'm morally superior. I'm saying that I understand.

Some people might look at this case and say, "Why would a man who makes $1M a year steal from his company?" Search within your heart. Have you ever thought to yourself, "If only I made more money...if only I could afford what my neighbor/friend/managers seems to be able to afford..."

I can't tell you how many times I've told myself, "If we were making $X more every month, we'd be set!" Well, you know what? In this past year, my family has been gifted with an increase in income. My wife is ramping her career back up, and her income is inching up every month. I've also been making a little more on the side. And it STILL hasn't been "enough"! As our income rises, so do our "needs".

We've recognized this, and are ramping down our consumption and our dependence on material things as a result. But how many people don't realize this before it's too late? They make more and more. They spend more and more. The more they get , the more they convince themselves they need. Eventually, their needs outstrip their income, and they resort to stealing under the belief that they deserve whatever it is they're not getting.

Tom Coughlin is not to be pitied, but to be identified with. If there were a case of "there but for the grace of God go I", this is it. This tendency exists in every single one of us.

I pray fervently that all of us can identify with this thinking before it reaches such extremes, and use whatever financial circumstances we find ourselves in to liberate ourselves from the bondage of ego and commercialism. May I use whatever resources I have, both physical and spiritual, to bring enlightenment to all beings. May we all use whatever resources we have in a noble manner, that we may quickly gain the wisdom and insight of powerful Chenrezig.

Mahamudra

2006-01-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

Mahamudra is the Tibetan Buddhist practice of direct insight meditation, consisting of shamatha (calm abiding) and vipassana (special insight). As I understand it, one first works to calm the mind by shamatha, making it more stable and increasing the space between thoughts. Once calm abiding is achieved, vipassana is practiced to detach the meditator from identifying with her thoughts, feelings and actions, so that the pure, clear nature of the mind can be perceived.

The Third Karmapa, Rangjung Dorje, wrote a wonderful Aspirational Prayer for Mahamudra. Here's the text, with robust commentary by Venerable Khenchen Thrangu Rinpoche.

Opening Up: The Levels of Bodhichitta

2006-01-27T14:57:00.000-08:00

I can tell that I'm making progress in opening up to others. At the same time, I can tell there's still progress to be made.

A case study. My daughter mopes around the house, looking bored. I have three ways I can react to this: (1) Wait for her to ask to do something with me - and then refuse, because, you know, I have so many better things to do than play with my kids; (2) Wait for her to ask to do something with me and agree to do it, with varying levels of enthusiasm; (3) Proactively suggest that she and I do something together.

Each of these three options have varying levels of commitment attached to them. I can choose (3), but do it with such a lack of genuine enthusiasm that it's obvious I'm forcing myself into it. Similarly, I can do (1), but with a sincere regret about my own shortcomings and a strong desire to break into (2).

I've been stuck at (1) for years. Thanks to my practice, I've moved into the "middling level" of (2): I consent, but I'm still working past a lack of enthusiasm, and a belief that "my" time is being "stolen" by my other worldly responsibilities. When a similar opportunity arises in the future - which, with all the kids running around this house, could be within the next hour - I vow to shoot for (3).

Which is not to say I'll always choose (3). This issue is conscious in my mind at the moment; if it takes a day or two for this next opportunity to arise, I might forget everything I've taught myself in this post. Or the opportunity might arise in a slightly different form, and I won't recognize it.

Step by step, BC. Step. By. Step.

The Six Perfections by Geshe Sonam Rinchen: Generosity

2006-01-27T08:21:00.000-08:00

Give with these three attitudes:

That your aim is enlightenment;
That what you give has already been dedicated to others; and
That the person to whom you give is your teacher of generosity.

Shantideva's four practices that apply to all of the perfections:

Giving
Protecting (not sacrificing your body until it's time)
Keep actions pure of polluting emotions
Insure increase

When teaching or instructing, don't take the mental position that your teachings are the best, or that you have the deepest insight. (Related thought: There are 84,000 discourses of dharma for a reason! What matters about a teaching is not necessarily how "eloquent" it is, but how well it is matched to the recipient of the teaching. It's a pairing. Does the teaching move the recipient closer to true enlightenment? Then it is good and meaningful.)

Encourage others to give if they don't seem to know how. (I.e., teach a man to fish.)

"If we understand impermanence and are genuinely compassionate, we will regard our possessions as others' belongings which they have entrusted to use for safekeeping and which must be returned to them. With that attitude our property will not be a source of anxiety." (p. 22)

Mindlessness

2006-01-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to keep an amused detachment toward some of my more...egregious examples of mindlessness. It feels like that there are moments where I'm trying to be my most mindful - and those are the moments when I'm likely to do something stupid.

Two cases in point:

(1) After leaving the bank yesterday, I couldn't find my car key to save my life. I didn't leave it in the bank, and I didn't seem to have dropped it anywhere. Frustrated, I went back to the car...and there was my key. In the ignition. With the car running.
(2) Went to the grocery store today with the kids. Everything went smoothly. Until I almost drove off, leaving the groceries behind in the cart.

Can you "psyche yourself out" regarding mindfulness? I think so. Mindfulness is about being OPEN to experience - not about funneling and narrowing your attention. It's an art I have yet to master.

Faith, Courtesy of Shantideva

2006-01-23T22:52:00.000-08:00

I finished reading Pema Chodron's No Time to Lose recently, and am taking another go at it to get a more in-depth understanding. Like most of the master teachers, Shantideva's text is dense and full of meaning - and Pema Chodron's commentary does a great job of teasing it out.

One of Chodron's recommended courses of study is to memorize at least one meaningful passage from each chapter, so you can mull it over in your mind for days or weeks. You can also use it for inspiration and insight during the day. One of my favorite passages from Chapter 2 is this one:

For if, alarmed by common ills,
I act according to the doctor's words,
What need to speak of when I'm constantly brought low
By lust and all the hundred other torments?

There are a lot of things I love about this little passage. The physician analogy - the Buddha is the doctor, you're the patient, the Dharma is the medicine - is apt as always. But I love even the minor phrasing, such as "alarmed by common ills". I like how it emphasizes that we're not alone in these "torments" of the senses. It's a common ailment of humanity that we lock ourselves inside of our own private hells, and egotistically view our troubles as more important, more devastating, more hellacious than anything that anybody else must feel.

I think back on the past year, during which I spent so much time in narcissistic pursuit of pleasure. I think of how much I trapped myself in my own mind - convincing myself that my job sucked, that my wife and family were "crimping my style", that no one would let me be me. It all seems chimerical now. It was a delusion layered upon a delusion. Shantideva's words help assure me that, however much I thought I was alone, I wasn't: my suffering is shared by billions of souls worldwide. It also reminds me that the cure is as simple as putting my faith in the elixir offered by the Three Jewels.

The Eight Verses of Thought Transformation

2006-01-23T21:39:00.000-08:00

With commentary by H.H. The Dalai Lama.

The Six Perfections by Geshe Sonam Rinchen: Enthusiastic Effort

2006-01-23T21:38:00.000-08:00

Enthusiastic Effort

The moral? You could die tomorrow. So don't slack off.

Tale of Drukpan Kunlek, who stood before the statue of the Buddha and said, "Once you and I were the same, but you made effort and became enlightened and I'm still in this condition because of my laziness, which is why I'm obliged to pay homage to you now." (p. 72)

Focusing on a single practice won't bring you to enlightenment. (p. 72)

Our virtuous actions take on greater virtue after we take vows, such as refuge or monastic vows. (p. 74)