Friday, March 10, 2006

Firefighting

There are days when it feels like practicing Buddhism and adhering to the precepts is like learning to write with my left hand after 32 years of using my right. My mind is so entrenched in selfish habits. I find self-cherishing thoughts and fantasies cropping up at every turn.

In the software world, when you spend all day on your job addressing minor and major emergencies, it's called "firefighting". Ever since I started Ngondro practice this week (coincidence???), I've felt let I've been putting out blazes in my mind at every turn.

I try and tell myself that this is only because I'm getting better at noticing my selfishness, and am becoming less tolerant of indulging in behavior that doesn't benefit others.

That gets me through the day.

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